Overcoming Circumstances

TALK IT OVER

Ps Tim shared a great message today about Outlasting Unfair Circumstances. Take some time with your family or Village to chat about the following discussion questions.

What was your key take away from today’s message?

Discussion Questions:

• How does the concept of self-awareness, as described through the Johari window and the iceberg analogy, impact our ability to navigate unfair circumstances in life?

• How do societal pressures and the tendency to compare ourselves to others contribute to criticism and the "pity party" mentality? What strategies can we employ to combat this?

• In the context of wearing different "t-shirts" representing brokenness, life, and love, how does our choice of clothing, or the way we present ourselves, influence our interactions with others and our own well-being?

• Tim discussed the conflict between the flesh and the spirit, referencing Bible verses below. How can we actively choose to "clothe" ourselves with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ in our daily lives?

• Galatians 5:17 – ‘For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that your Choices are never free from this conflict.’

• Romans 8:6 - ‘So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.’

• What are you clothing yourself with today? How can we shift our perspective from worldly standards to an eternal perspective, and what practical steps can help us make this shift?

​ TRANSCRIPT

And today I get the privilege of actually talking about unfair circumstances. And how do we outlast them? How do we outlast unfair circumstances? Especially when we want to have a pity party. Now, anyone who wants to join me in my pity party, well, in January I'll actually be married 30 years. Oh no, I was actually having a pity party.

No, no. No, to my amazing wife, Michelle. We've got five beautiful, amazing children. Two are now married as well. They're all adult children. They're all out of school. And so we are in such a blessed state right now and so we're just sitting back putting our feet up thinking, what does life look like now?

How easy is this gonna be? Unfortunately it's not, is it? Because there's always that next hurdle, that next challenge, that next thing that's in front of us. Life can be unfair. So how do we outlast it? How do we actually remain faithful or strong or endure? How do we push through what life throws at us? It can be so hard, especially when we make it about ourselves.

There's a song that was out from some time ago and, and it was redone some time ago too. And I think most of you guys might know it. So, why don't you join me if you, if you know this song. Ready? Here we go. What about me? It isn't fair. I've had enough. Now I want my share. Oh yeah, come on. Yeah. But you just.

That's right, yeah. What about me? Come on, I want my turn. Hi. Who else is singing that? Yeah? Yeah, that's right, yeah. What about me, hey? Oh, I'm fair. You know, I had to wait at least 20 minutes for my coffee this morning. Come on! Man, what is this place? Kev, what is this cafe you're running here? 20 minutes for a coffee?

Man! What's with the roadworks at the moment on the highway? I mean, how long? Four years? Whoa! Just put more than five people on and I'm sure we can get it done. Oh, man. Oh, life is unfair. Come on, people. Who wants to have a whinge with me? Anyone? Yeah, that's right. We do it every day, don't we? Oh man, every time I walk around a corner at work, there's another couple of people whinging about something and it's like, Nah, that's alright, it's just Dale.

No. It's not, no, no, it's not Dale. Not at all. Hey, sometimes we aren't even aware of our whinging. Sometimes we aren't even aware of our our circumstances we're in. Sometimes we're not even aware of how we're carrying on. I want soy! You know, we don't even know what we're doing sometimes. We're just not aware.

aware of it and sometimes we can even justify our actions because we're so lack awareness. I was four wheel driving the other week and I came across this guy.

I said mate you're right you need some help you're bogged and he said nah mate nah nah I'm not bogged I'm just parked. It's like we're kidding ourselves sometimes, aren't we? It's like, look at life for actually what's happening around you. Be aware of what's going on. Man, you're, you're not just parked.

Dude, you're bogged. Yeah, you're stuck in there real good. So we're not even aware. There's this thing that's called this JHA window and and, and it looks a little bit like there's, there's four quadrants in it, like, just like a pain window. Some of you guys might've heard about this, just simple psychology and, and what it talks about is in the first open window, it talks about what people see, obviously in you and what you obviously see in yourself.

That's just an open window. It's nice and clear, transparent. We can all see what's going on there. And then just under that, there's the ones that actually we hide from people. What we can see, we see in ourselves, but we sort of just hide it from others. We keep things a little bit secret. We don't show our real self to others.

We sort of keep that on the inside. And then coming down the other side, there's this, there's this what actually I don't see, or what we don't see, but others see in us. There's a blind spot there. A blind spot that, that we don't even know what's going on. We're just not even aware of it, but others can see it in us.

And then there's the bottom quadrant, which sort of looks at what you don't even know about yourself. You're unaware of who you are and what you're doing and your actions, and actually people don't really see that as well. They're those hidden parts inside of you, deep within your soul. So another way of looking at that really simple is this, the iceberg sort of model.

When we look at an iceberg we can see that just that top little bit is sticking out but there's so much depth underneath and psychology now is really pushing into this area that that 80 percent of under the water is actually just like our subconscious. It's the things that we just operate out of that we're not even aware of that we just do.

That the 20 percent on the surface is the things that we are aware of, that we're focused on, or we're thinking about and we're actually doing. But this, this bottom part, this 80 percent in this subconscious area, we just do. And it might have been just habits you've, you've formed when, when you're growing up.

It might have been how you were raised. It might have been what you, you picked up along the way. Perhaps it might have even been a trauma in your life. And, and not just a big T trauma where, wow, you know someone died or whatever it was, something massive and huge in your life, maybe it's just a little T trauma.

See, psychology is coming such a far way with this understanding that the human mind, that our actions and reactions actually majority come from our subconscious. That it comes from, from deep within and we're not even aware of why we do these things for. It's a little bit like on the funny level of, you know, we all know this one, you're driving along somewhere and all of a sudden you get to another point, oh how did I get here all of a sudden?

We switch off don't we? Because our subconscious just kicks in and just reacts for us and does things for us. We get somewhere and it's like, oh man, how did, I can't even remember that last, did I go through any red lights? What just happened? What is going on? But we sometimes don't realise, we're not aware of what's going on around us.

And so sometimes those things, even those little tea traumatic events in our lives, actually hold us back. A bit like Kev said, those things that are on the inside that, of our mind, that we don't understand. But we just, they're on replay all the time. And what can happen is when we, we sit in this place of, of, we can look at comparing ourselves to others.

Because we're just unaware of who we are and what we do and our actions. But on the top surface of the 20 percent we think, no, no, I got it all together. Yeah, sure, I'm a little bit wrong in a few areas, but most of the time I got it all together. And then we start comparing ourselves to others. We put on a worldview and we look out at everyone else and go, Actually, I'm not doing too bad right now, you know?

I'm looking out there and yep, yep, I'm doing okay. We compare ourselves to others, but unfortunately comparison can lead to criticism. It's just natural, isn't it? Once we start looking at someone else and then comparing our standards or the world's standards against them and us, it's like, oh, we become critical.

Oh, I just don't like how Dot does that, you know, she just, sometimes she does, oh, I don't like how, you know Chris does that, I don't like how he does that or she does that, I, oh, and we become critical in whatever's happening around us. We can have a pity party. We judge others on our standard. My dad used to say this quote.

It's, he didn't own it. So many people have heard it before. Is, is this. Is that there's always someone else worse off than you. There's always someone else worse off than you. And we, sometimes we can look and we can raise our standards of who we are. But there's actually someone else that's worse than us.

And so sometimes that does humble us and bring us down. But the problem is that. When we look at our standards, we actually miss the mark. We actually fall short. Ooh, it's getting hot in here.

Do you mind?

See under that layer, is just brokenness. Every single one of us is wearing brokenness.

Every single one of us can only come from the point of view of ourself. You know, we've been given our two eyes and, and two ears and, and mouth to speak and our own heart and mind to process. And it comes from a self point of view, comes from brokenness. It actually means like missing the mark and, and that, that term that comes from archery is called sin.

It means missing the mark. The dictionary actually describes brokenness as not in its original condition any longer. Huh? Brokenness is not in its original condition any longer. That's me. I'm not in my original condition any longer. Anyone else? We're all broken. We all fall short. But it's not in comparison to each other, but it's in comparison to a higher standard.

See, brokenness is everywhere. We're born into it. And if we, we looked at this, we could wrap it up like this, and the Bible is actually all about. Is that God created. Sin broke it. And Jesus is restoring it.

God created. Sin broke it. He broke every single one of us. Sin, we're all brokenness but Jesus is restoring it.

I got a smile over that because now I don't have to remain in my brokenness. I don't have to compare myself to others. Actually I can look to the One who's restoring me. The One who's restoring every single one of us. Now this is not a new concept. We talk about it all the time from this platform with three circles.

The three circles is exactly what that's saying, isn't it? Is that God created, He never intended the world to be broken. But yet sin separated us and we live in that brokenness. And we try on all things. We might try on, maybe, I don't know, it might be, oh, what if I try on a, a career, hey, yeah, hey, what if I, woo, this looks good on me, hello a minute, if I try on my career, yeah that, that could be good, yeah.

I know what I'll do. I'll try on being an athlete. Yeah! Come on! Yeah! Hey, when I played for Australia that time, remember that Kev? Yep, yes! I did. Hello! All the accolades I got. I felt good. It was really good. I try on things. Maybe, maybe I might even try on, Woo! I might even try on the things of this world.

Hey? I might even try on some of the things of this world. Maybe I might try on drugs, or drinking, or whatever it is. I mean, you might remember this shirt. Might ring a, ring a true to a bell. I don't know. Yeah. Hey, maybe, maybe if I just, hang on a minute. I'm just going to play it cool. I'm just going to be cool.

That's what I am. Hello, that's what I am. That's what I'm, I'm cool. Come on everyone. Yeah, I'm gonna be cool. Oh, hang on, hang on a minute. Honey, where's my super suit? Has anyone seen my super suit? You might even try on. We're here, we're here, we're back on. We might even try on your super suit. Cause it's like, come on.

Man, if I just save the world, if everyone looks at me. Yeah, here we go. The super suit. We got this. So we try on all things, but at the end of the day, they all fall short. It all falls short. We try and fancy our lives up. It's all a facade. It's a cover up. That's all it is. It's just a cover up of life. See, how we clothe ourselves in life is a choice.

Every time you get up in the morning you decide, what am I gonna put on? It's a choice to clothe yourself in how you look. We can dress ourselves up or dress ourselves down and people then judge us on how we look or our position. I can't stand this one, sorry, but I've copped it for so long, which is when someone meets you and they say, so what do you do?

What do you mean what do I do? Do you just want to judge me? on my career, or my job, or my work? Shouldn't you be saying, who are you as a person? Because isn't that more important about what we wear? But this, this superficial, this coating on the outside, it covers up a multitude of brokenness. It can cover up our brokenness, and our sin, and our self, and we can hide that in the corner.

Because clothes can make the person, but at the end of the day...

It's just filthy rags. Like, I wouldn't go out in public looking like this, would I? Smells like my dogs. It stinks. It's wrong. It's rank. It's filthy. Man, if I, if I had used that on the floor before to wipe up stuff, whatever it is, imagine if I then gave that to my wife and said, here darling, I've got this beautiful shirt for you.

Would you like to wear it today? As if! What about, what about a good friend? If I gave it to him as a birthday present, I said, oh here mate, you know, I've got this crack of a shirt, it's for you. I want to give it to you. He'd look at it and go, what? What's going on here? Because it's like a filthy rag. And that's sometimes what our offerings are back to God.

No matter how good we are, no matter how much we try and dress it up. No matter how good we do in our super suit, it's like a filthy rag back to God. Hey, let's grab a real quick story because I've got to keep this moving. You guys know someone in the Bible. We all know these people, characters in the Bible, and I've got this one for us today.

Who am I?

Pick anyone from the Old Testament. You're nearly there. You're nearly there. See, we can cover ourselves up. I'm Joseph, okay? I know it's not Technicolor or a Dreamcoat or whatever. It's close enough, hey. You know, it's close enough. And so, here's Joseph. He's been given this coat of many colors. From his dad.

Joseph was a prized possession almost of his father Jacob. He said, I want to give you this special coat because you're special in my life. And so here was Joseph with this, all this freedom of like, hey I know who I am in my father's eyes. But all his brothers were jealous. Now by this stage, his brothers were already, you know, like going out and battling, you know, against other cities and things and stuff like that.

And so Joseph comes to him and he starts sharing about these dreams. And these brothers are like, hey, we can't stand you, dreamer. You know, we should get him. You know, and he talks about these dreams, about how they'll bow down to him. He doesn't realize, he's not aware that he's actually really putting them down.

He's just trying to speak out a truth of who he thinks he is in God. But he knows because he's got this dream that God's giving him about the future. And so Joseph then, we know the story, all of a sudden his brother said, I'm gonna kill him, I'm gonna kill him. And then they, a couple of them say, no, no, let's not kill him.

Let's throw him in that hole, you know, and they ripped up his shirt and they sold him off to traders and they tore his coat. They got blood of an animal and splashed it all over it and they, you know, tore it up and they brought it back to the father and they said, we can't find Joseph, he's gone and the father weeps and laments and says my son, my prized son is gone.

And then we all know the story that this coat now is gone

and Joseph is back in brokenness again. He's back in brokenness, but then we know the story it goes on from there. He finds favor. Through through Pharaoh, through Potiphar, and then through Pharaoh as well, and next you know, he's running the nation of Egypt. He's the 2IC of Egypt, and then there's this drought that comes because he predicted it, and then all of a sudden, Joseph, sorry, Jacob and the other brothers come along, get food for him, and then he, they live, and they settle in the land because they had favor from God.

See, God can redeem brokenness. No matter how broken you are, no matter how broken we are, God can redeem that. No matter what clothes we put on, God can redeem every single one of you. So what's your story of brokenness? What's your story of hurt? What's your story of pain? What's your story of things unfair?

Maybe what's your story of self centeredness? Dealing with this self. See, we all have them. They're all just different for every single one of us. They're through our own eyes, through our own ears, through our own life. So let me ask you this question. How are you clothing yourself each day? How are you clothing yourself each day?

See, we can try and solve it in our own strength, in our own cupboard, our own wardrobe, our own way, our own thinking, but it just falls short. It's just like those filthy racks, it falls short. In Galatians 5, 17, it says this, it says, For the flesh desires what is contrary to the spirit, and the spirit what is contrary to the flesh.

What is opposite to each other? They are in conflict with each other so that your choices, your what? Your choices are never free from this conflict. I don't know that when I, when I see this scripture, I, I, I gained strength from it going, Oh cool. It's not just me. It's not just me. Dealing with this conflict within my mind of the things of the flesh and the things of the spirit.

Because the scripture reminds me that they're in conflict, constantly, with each other and our choices are never free. They're always bashing up against each other. Let's put it this way, Paul writes in, in Romans, he says, in Romans 8 6, so letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death, but letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.

See, Jesus is restoring it. Our brokenness we can't fix, but Jesus is restoring it. I love how Jesus said and recorded in John 10 10. He says that the thief comes to rob, steal and destroy. But I, Jesus, I have come that you may have life and life to the fullest. Life and life to the fullest. Both here and now and an eternity to come.

I love how Jesus not only claimed this And was this, but he said that he, Jesus, is the way, that he is the truth, and that he is life, to the very persons of who we are. made in Jesus. Jesus once again in John 15 5 recorded, he says, yes he says, I am the vine and you are the branches. Those who remain in me and I in them will produce much fruit.

For apart from me you can do no thing. You can do nothing. Outside of God we can do nothing. He's the very life source of who we are. So I want to ask you again, how are you clothing yourself each day?

What are you putting on? What clothes are you putting on? It's in Romans 13, 14, it says, Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. Don't let yourself think about ways to indulge. Your evil desires, clothe yourself in Christ,

excuse me,

clothe yourself in Jesus, the source of life.

What are you wearing today? What are you wearing tomorrow? Are you wearing life? Are you wearing Christ? Are you putting on Jesus every single day? Because we've got to clothe ourselves in Him. In Galatians 3, 27, it says, And all who have been united with Christ. How many? And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ.

Like putting on new clothes. Like putting on new clothes. I'm not gonna put on those old filthy rags. I'm not even gonna go back to that brokenness and put that back on over the top. It's like, yes Jesus I know you, I know you are the giver of life, but I'm just gonna put on my brokenness today and I'm just gonna go on out and do whatever I want to do to satisfy the self.

We don't do it intentionally, but we still do it. We still do it. Because remember, they're in conflict with each other. Our choices are never free from this. So Jesus says, put on your new nature. Your new person, no matter what the circumstances or situation we find ourselves in. We're going to put on that new nature.

See, we can just have a temporary short term worldview perspective and judge each other accordingly and yeah, whatever happens in the future is whatever happens because I'm okay because I'm better than him and I'm better than her and I've got everything together more than them. We can judge ourselves compared to other people or we can have an eternal perspective.

Jesus said, I have come that you may have life. And life to the fullest. Life to the max. Life never ending. I don't know about you but I want life. I don't want to live in my brokenness any longer. Ephesians 4 24 it says, put on your new nature created to be like God, truly righteous and holy. And again in Colossians 3 12 14 it says, since God chose you.

Remember the kingdom of God is open to all. Who's it open to? The kingdom of God is open to all. So when we read scriptures like this, that God chose you, He chose every single one of you. You're created. Every single one of you have been created in His image of love and joy and peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control and all the other very nature of who God is.

He says, so since God chose you to be holy people that he loves, you must clothe yourself with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowances for each other. Don't judge each other. Make allowances for each other, each other's you.

Remember, the Lord forgave you. He didn't just forgive others, He forgave you. For all your brokenness, for all your missing the mark, for all your self centered thinking, He forgave you. And I love this, above all, above all. All. Clothe yourself with love. Clothe yourself with love that binds us all together in perfect harmony.

So what are you clothing yourself with today?

Where do I want to go today?

I'm going to clothe myself in this one today. Because I live in life. I want to live in.

I'm going to clothe myself in love. No longer I who lives, but Christ who lives in me. God is love. Am I sharing, am I showing, am I displaying, am I clothing this God of love to all the world to see? So that when people see you, do they see love? brokenness?

When you walk out of your house every day, what are they looking at? What you're wearing, your business, or your dress, whatever it is, whatever you're looking like today. Or are they seeing love? Are they seeing life and love? Because that's what you clothe yourself in that day.

Do they see the Christ in you? No matter what the circumstances, no matter how unfair life is, or when things get unfair. You revert back to your brokenness. You revert back to your self centeredness.

I want to ask this question. Not just, what does other people see? But what does the Father see?

When the Heavenly Father looks at you, what does He see?

Does He look at you and your brokenness?

Does He look at you with all your faults?

Or does the Heavenly Father see Jesus?

Because Jesus took our place, didn't He? Jesus stands in the gap.

So when the Father looks at you, He sees His Son, Jesus. He sees the life and the love. No matter who you are, whether it be Chris, he sees his son in Chris. No matter who it is, Jesus stands in front of every single one of us and says, I'll take the blow. I'll protect him.

I've got it mate. I know you're broken. That's why I came back down to earth. To stand for you. To stand in front of you. To stand with you.

That's all Jesus wants is to be with you. Not what we do. Not matter how hard we strive. Not what clothes we put on. But bearing the image of God, because we're with Him. See, didn't Jesus say, come, follow me. Come, be with me. Be in my slipstream. As I'm walking by, are you so closely behind me? That you're in my slipstream.

Just like if you're riding a bike and a big truck goes past it, wants to pull you along. And when you're riding behind a truck, you're caught up in its slipstream. It's not a lot of work. It's actually really easy to do. You can stay in nice and close, in behind it, and it almost pulls you along.

I want to be in the slipstream of God. I want to be in the slipstream of Jesus. I'm sick and tired of being broken for too long. I'm sick and tired of making the same old wrong choices over and over again. I'm sick and tired of comparing myself to other people and seeing what they've got and what I don't have.

I just want to be with Jesus. I want to be in His slipstream. So whose standard are you measuring the circumstances? Of life against yours is the world's, or is it God's standard?

Cause when we measure ourselves against God's standard, we know how much we need a Saviour. How much we need this God. See, all we need to do is to be with God. We need to just trust in Him. We need to trust the process no matter how unfair it is, no matter how hard it is, because life will get tough. We all know that.

Life can be so unfair, but you and Jesus, you and Jesus, you got this, you got this.