Why Do I Feel Like an Outsider (and How to Fix it)

TRANSCRIPT

Think back to a time in your life like you felt like you didn't belong. Now, for some of you, if it's your first time here going, I'm in this right now, you're gonna be feeling right now. But think about it, when you didn't really belong. Maybe you started a new job. Maybe a first day of a new school that's that's hell, isn't it?

When you start a new school and kids, they're really cruel, but it's like really weird. And then, or maybe you go into a party and you've been into this party and everybody seems to know each other and you don't know anything and you're kinda like kinda, oh, this is not right. Or you start a sports team and the team's been playing together for years and you come in, it's and you have to deal with something.

When you realize you don't belong, and that's the feeling of being an outsider. Being an outsider. Now, here is the reality with this. If you are gonna engage in anything new, if you're gonna start anything new, if you're gonna go anywhere new, you gotta deal with this dynamic. It's uncomfortable, but that's the dynamic you have to deal with.

You are gonna feel like an outsider. So what I wanna do this morning out of Ice Age is see if we can learn together from Hollywood and Pixar and all this kind of stuff. How do you move from being an outsider to an insider as fast as possible? Because if you stay an outsider too long, you drift and you fall away.

So this movie's Ice Age. How many people have actually seen Ice Age? If you, okay, so a good portion of you have. The dynamic of this is there are a, there's a group of unlikely individuals that have come together and this is who they are. There's Manny, he's the he's the behemoth kind of thing. He's the mammoth.

Manny is there. He's very unhappy. He doesn't wanna talk to anybody. He's very isolated. He's got some issues in his past that he hasn't dealt with. And then you've got Sid. You've got Sid, which is the next one. He's the sloth. Sid Sloth. He is, he's completely self-obsessed. He can't think about anything by himself, and he thinks of nobody else.

This guy is so popular that every migration, his family leaves him behind. They get up early, go and leave him behind. So he's just one of those characters that are really annoying. And Diego he's he's a saber tooth tiger. And he's actually pretending to be with them on the journey. But he's really just waiting for the right opportunity to betray everybody.

So this is not a natural group of people that you put together. It doesn't naturally make sense, but here's what's fascinating is they're thrust together around something called Mission. They suddenly, this unlikely bunch has a mission they have to do and they have to get a human baby that's lost back to its father.

Now, somehow they're got to do this when they don't really gel at all. But somehow they decide we are going to get this mission and we're gonna reunite this child back with its dad. And something very interesting happens along the journey. Something happens slowly, but eventually it becomes all consuming.

And that's what happens. They move from outsiders. To insiders on this particular journey. Now, many of us can relate to this man. Oh man, most people, you go around, you feel like a misfit. Like you might even be sitting in our family gathering right now, and you're going, man, I'm too broken for this. I shouldn't be here.

I don't feel like I belong. I got too much baggage. If they knew about the baggage I've got, they wouldn't have anything to do with me. I just don't fit. And yet, that is exactly what the purpose of the mission is. To bring people that don't fit together and move them from outsiders to insiders.

Now, I do have to tell you that as this journey starts for a while, if you hang around, you can watch the whole movie later. It doesn't really go too well. These guys are really not working that well. But over time, some awareness begins to take place and they, things begin to change. And then there's one catalytic event.

That suddenly really propels change from outsiders to insiders. So let's have a look at our first clip and we'll pick it up.

Would you look at that? The tiger actually did it. There's half peak. Next stop. Glacier pass.

How could I ever have doubted you?

Did you hear that little

fella? You are almost home.

My feet are sweating.

Do we have to get a news flash? Every time your body does something, he's doing it for attention. Just ignore 'em.

Seriously. My feet are really hot.

Tell me that was your stomach.

I'm sure it was just thunder. From underground.

Keep up with me. I wanna, if you were moving.

I wish I could jump like that. We're granted. Ah,

come on. Move faster.

Have you noticed the river of.

Old Pinky.

Manny. Manny. Manny, you okay? Come on. Come on. Say something. Anything. Oh my God. What? What? I can't hear you.

You're standing on my trunk.

Oh. Oh. You're okay. Are you okay?

Why did you do that? You could have died trying to save me.

That's what you do in a herd. You look out for each other. Thanks.

I dunno about you guys, but we are the weirdest herd I've ever seen.

Diego's perplexed, why would you risk your life for me? Why would you do that? And he says, 'cause that's what you do in a herd. Sid's got no idea. He just goes, whoa. We are a weird herd. That's what we are now, let's be honest. If you have spent any time across your life in a church, anywhere, you realize it's a weird herd.

It's a weird herd, man. You just look around here. You've got different personalities. You've got people with different political views, different life stages, different struggles. Some of you, you are naturally optimistic and upbeat. Another, you're like, like your negative Nellie about everything, but you're all in there.

And then there's the extroverts and they want to sing and they wanna dance like me, and then there's the other ones. It's you's just going, oh man, I just wish the whole world would shut up for half an hour. Just nobody talk and everything's gonna be just fine. We're not so different from the Ice Age crew.

The only thing that pulls them together is they inherited a mission. We inherited a mission as the church mission to get children back to the father. It's the same mission. We're not people that would naturally, normally hang around with each other. Ming we've got people in here with white collar tie professionals, and you got blue collar tradies and they're all mingled together.

Some of you grew up in wonderful families. Some of you know you got here somehow, but it doesn't resemble anything of a family. It's broken it's fractured. And then you've got ones that, that look like they've got their whole life together. The kids are wonderful and over there's others that are like barely hanging on.

There are ones that have been walking for Jesus for like decades. Then there are ones that are coming in that have experienced religion for decades, and now are starting to learn how to love Jesus and walk in relationship. And then you've got ones that, that have been around here for five minutes. Come I don't know.

I'm trying to follow Jesus and it's a weird herd, but that's the way God designed it. That's the way it's supposed to be. These guys. These guys in here, they're weird herd. Manny has experienced such grief and stuff, sadness in his life. He's completely shut down. He needs to do eh HS if he was here. I go, Manny, you're going in the Emotionally Healthy Spirituality group.

Get in there and sort out your past. Sid. Oh my gosh. Sid is just desperate. Desperate for affection, and so he overshare. He drives everybody crazy. He's got no social awareness. Now, if you know someone like that, please don't point them out. Diego. He's got a double life going on. He's only here to network to fulfill his agenda and get the thing down.

And he has ulterior motives and they argue and they fight and they annoy each other. And there are times when they want to quit in each other with on each other. Doesn't this sound an awful lot like people in church?

Let me just bring you this revelation in case you happen to be here for the first time and you're looking at these people going, oh my gosh, those people are so wonderful. They represent Jesus everywhere. Lemme just tell you about the church. It's not a gathering of perfect people. It's actually a collection of wounded, complicated, flawed individuals that are stumbling along making their way towards eternity.

And if you can take that in mind. It'll go a lot better when I say something you don't like. I'm just being honest, or someone else says that. But here's the thing about it. Here's the thing about herds. Genuine community is hard. Genuine community is very hard. And you know why it's hard?

Because it requires patience that you don't have. It requires forgiveness. That you don't want to give and it requires vulnerability, which you are terrified to share because if they, people knew what I was really like, they would reject me, and that's what we're like. They're all in together. But the dynamic of the mission is what brings the weird herd together and keeps it going.

Ice Age has so many different themes going on inside it. It's incredible. You could virtually look at it and go, you know what? The child that's lost from the father represents all of humanity. Represents all of humanity, and the weird herd that's gotta get the kids back to the father. That's the church.

That's what we are supposed to do. We are supposed to help people get back into relationship with God, not follow rules, not follow regulations, not do any kind of religious duty, but a relationship. Everything happens in relationship. Jesus said this once and the, and fortunately Luke, who is one of the disciples, he actually wrote it down, which was really great.

Now, Luke was one of the original eyewitnesses. He was a doctor, which means he was an educated man. And apparently Matthew and Mark and John had written their gospels and it was a little bit. It not organized. He felt, like he felt it was like, this happened and then that happened and this happened and it's all over the place, but Luke decides I'm gonna write an orderly account so that you, the off Theophilus, which was a high ranking person somewhere there.

So a highly educated, he wanted him to be able to know that this is good. You can trust everything that's happened. I know Matthew's great and Mark's good, and John, but they're a little bit all over the shop, but this is clear. You can understand this, so that's why Luke is writing, but this is what Jesus said.

In Luke 10, in Luke 19, he said The son of man came to what? Say it with me. Seek and save the lost. Do it again. Son of man came to do what? Seek and save the lost. Jesus wasn't speaking metaphorically. Then. Humanity had been separated from God for thousands of years. Trapped in sin and brokenness and death and no relationship.

And then eventually God has to insert himself into our world through Jesus to make a way back into relationship. It's always been about relationship. Now here's the deal. Jesus could have just done it alone, right? He's the son of God. Why bother with us? But no. Jesus decides to not do it alone, and he decides he's gonna put together a weird herd.

Think about the disciples. You got fishermen. Zero religious knowledge. You got Matthew, a tax collector, which everybody hates and despise because he's ripping everybody off. You got Simon Zeller as a political radical. You got Peter that can't control anything. He's always got his foot and mouth saying things he shouldn't do.

Like one minute he's saying, coming up with a revelation. Everyone goes, oh, that's amazing, Pete. You realize that I'm the Christ, the son of the living God. Oh, the father's given that to you 15 minutes later. Jesus have to tell him, oh, get behind me, Satan. It's what happened, Pete? You switched teams from 15 minutes.

But this is the level of what he's working with. This is the herd he is putting together. Judas, he's only, he, the only reason he's there is he, I'm gonna net with these guys. I get, they got money, I'm get some money out of them. I'm gonna steal, and eventually he betrays Jesus. And then there's Thomas.

He struggles with doubt, like I'm a Thomas. I used to struggle really badly within decision, but now I'm not so sure

Dad. All I want you to know is this is not a carefully curated qualified, professional team that Jesus is putting together. It's a rag tan group of misfits, just like ice age, and I love what John wrote down. John was another one of the eyewitnesses. He was very close to Jesus. He was so close in the relationship that when Jesus was dying on the cross and he looked down and saw his mother, he said to John, this is your mother.

Mother. This is your son. So they had a fairly close relationship, but he pins some things down, which is amazing. This is what Jesus said as the Father has sent me, say it with me so I am, oops. As the father has sent me, I'm sending you, did you hear that? Our mission is Jesus' mission and Jesus' mission was getting children back to the Father, and he's doing it through a weird herd.

We don't have it all figured out. We're still learning. We're still growing. We're still messing up. Some of us messed up today day. Some of us messed up yesterday. Some of us will mess up before the afternoon's out. That's how we are. We're like that, but we're on a journey of being conformed to the image of Christ and it changes us.

Diego's got stuff going on in him now because Manny risked his life for him and he would never return the favor. So things are going on, things are taking place, and Manny's having to now love and care for people when he doesn't wanna do that anymore. He doesn't wanna be around people that I just wanna go away.

Am Will said. He just knows there it's a weird herd and that's all he knows and he just wants someone to talk to. That's all he wants. That display of love from Manny to Diego saving his life is doing a deep work in Diego. So let's have a look at another clip and just see how this work is actually out working.

Hey Diego, you frozen back there?

Get down. Huh? What? Get down and follow me.

Hey. Hey. What's going on

at the bottom of half peak? There's an ambush waiting for you.

What?

What do you mean ambush? You set us up. It was my job. I was supposed to get the baby, but then you brought us home for dinner. That's it. You are out of the herd. I'm sorry.

No, you are not. Not yet. Listen. I can help you. Stay close, Sid. We can fight our way out. You can't. The pack's too strong. You have to trust me. Trust you. Why in the world would we trust you? Because I'm your only chance.

What are you doing? Leave the mammoth. Hello.

Fine. I'll take you down first.

We did it. Alright.

We were some team. Huh?

We're,

come on. We're still a team. I'm sorry. I set you up.

Ah, you know me. I'm too lazy to hold a grudge.

Hey, knock it off. Squirt. You gotta be strong. You have to take care of Manfred and Sid, especially Sid.

Come on, you can lick this. You're a tiger. Look, I'll carry you. Come on. What do you say? Oh, come on, Diego. Come on. Tell him he's gonna be okay. Manny,

listen. You have to leave me here. If those humans get through the pass, you'll never catch them.

You didn't have to do that. That's what you're doing to herd.

The mission is changing everyone. Diego can't go through with what he actually wanted to do anymore because his heart's changed. He sees himself now part of a different herd, a weird herd. It's the mission that changes everyone. It gets in. Gets underneath and it begins this chain. The revolutionary part of this is the fact that you move from an outsider to an insider on the journey of mission, which is actually the journey to something which some of you might not like, title of something called family.

It's actually the journey towards family. And I know Word family can stir up a lot of emotions in people because we didn't all grow up in perfect homes, but there's a dynamic to family that God has, which is amazing. Might be a weird herd, but it is amazing. Listen, the team from Ice Age. Did not become, go from outsiders, insiders, and become family by sitting around drinking coffee or sipping margaritas on a beach.

Oh, as much as you'd like that and I would be there with you. No, not like that. How did they become family? How did it go from outside to inside? By facing danger together in the mission, by protecting each other, by sacrificing for each other. When he put himself in front of those tigers before Manny, everything has changed for him.

He's not the same tiger that he started off. He was not prepared. And I think it's the same for us, we're changed as we engage in mission together. Paul was writing to the let's call it the herd in Philippi, the church in Philippi. And he writes this down to them. He says, if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any, common sharing in his spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, this is now the cry of his heart.

Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love being one in spirit and one in purpose. Did you notice that? Unity comes through shared purpose. Being on a mission together. See, when you are on a mission with someone, and particularly the kind of mission that we have before God, you are pursuing something that matters to God so deeply, so you are forced to grow.

You'll be forced to grow. You can't hold grudges because you need each other. You can't stay distant. Because you are requiring of trust each other to see the mission complete and you can't withhold forgiveness because the stakes are too high. Think about Manny's situation. He's just discovered Diego's not taking him home for lunch.

He's taking him home to be lunch, and in that moment he's faced with something. I don't want to forgive you. You've done this horrible thing to me, but Diego states the obvious. If you don't let me back in here. You are not gonna make it. So you can't hang on to forgiveness in a mission. The stakes are just way too high, and God designed it this way.

So on the mission, we would be conformed to the image of Christ. We'd be forced to deal with our issues, deal with our trust issues, deal with the fact that there are people not like us, but learn to love them anyway. For the sake of the mission, you've gotta be united around the mission. The beauty of this film is that it's not just the dynamic of helping someone that's far from God, get back to God.

This is actually how God transforms us into the image of Christ. You will not sit on your own and be conformed to the image of Christ. You won't grow. You only grow on mission. Only grow when you start protecting each other, guarding each other, loving each other, caring for each other, which is why Jesus John pinned it down again for us.

He made this statement when he was thinking about us. He said, my prayer is that they may be one father. Just as you are in me, and I am in you. He's saying I want them to be. In this kind of position oneness together, like we have in the Godhead, the Father, son, the Holy Spirit. We need that because it's, that is what's gonna enable you to be able to achieve the mission.

It's also what's gonna conform you to the image of Christ, preparing you for eternity and what comes next. It's amazing. Let's have a look at one more clip just to see the dynamic of what happens if you actually engage in this mission and you complete it. Let's have a look at some of the dynamics that's going on in an achieved mission.

Don't forget about us. Okay.

We won't forget about you.

There's so much going on in there and a couple of the scenes they captured so well when the you reuniting of the child and her father and the father looking at one of the weird herd and there's a reward for the weird herd. I only seem like a little thing, a little necklace thing or whatever, but there are rewards.

Forgetting about the mission that come directly from the father. And for those of us that decide, we're gonna get serious about mission at the end of it. When you stand before God or Jesus returns and winds, this whole thing up, you, we all want to hear one thing well done. Good and faithful servant.

That's what we want to hear. Well done. Good and faithful servant. That's really. What this whole thing is about. God wants this relationship with human beings. We broke it at the start, separated. God has to insert himself back in and then he is using this weird herd to carry on to try and make this whole thing happen.

But it's all about figuring out, helping the people to start a relationship with God and maintain it. Mission really matters. It matters to the Father, and it matters to us. Because on that is where we go from the journey towards becoming family. And for some of us, that's what we've been longing for our entire lives, but never even thought it could be possible.

And sadly, because of the way people have led in churches in the past, sometimes churches don't feel like families, they feel like machines and they do more damage than good, but. It's supposed to be like this. This is what it's supposed to be on Mission together. So here's my question for you as we wind it up.

What if we stop waiting to feel like we belong and instead through ourselves into mission? If you stop looking and thinking I'll just wait until I feel like I belong. You will never engage in mission and you'll always sit as an outsider. What if we stop worrying about where do I fit in? And start worrying about who needs help to get back to the father?

Get the focus off us onto what the mission is. Here's something I have discovered. You don't find your place in a herd by standing on the sidelines evaluating, are these my kind of people?

If you stand and you watch and you evaluate, you sit on the sidelines, your judge, you will never, ever find the beauty of being a part of a weird herd that is knit together by mission. You pick up a towel and you start serving and you leap in. I know some of us have been on the journey now, and we look at what we've got here now and we go, oh man, it's amazing what God's done.

Listen, we haven't even scratched the surface of what God wants to do. I have people coming in here every week going, you should put one of these in our suburb. We need a bunch of people liking you here that will love us and care for us and serve us. WW put one in every suburb that's coming from them. I don't know, maybe God does want one in every suburb, which means we've got plenty to do.

We need a lot more people on the playing field. Some of us right now, we, people in our world and we're thinking, like with this neighbor, or whether it's someone that you work with and that, and we know that they're lost and we know that they're far from God and we're going, oh, God, do something.

And God's going, I'm waiting for you to get over yourself and jump into the mission. It's all on you. I'm waiting for you. I've done everything I'm gonna do. Now it's over to you. You are the weird herd that needs to represent me. You just gotta jump in. Manny didn't care at the start about anybody or anything, Sid.

Nobody thought Sid could actually handle any responsibility. And Diego? Yeah, he started off actively against the mission, but ends up giving his life for the.

You just gotta step in to the mission, and as you step into the mission, you move from outsider to insider, you become family. And maybe it's all just a part of what's been a theme for the last few years, saying yes to Jesus, saying yes to the mission because mission really matters. Can you imagine how the dynamic would change?

If we took this seriously, 500 people, I did the numbers on this, I'm not real bright, but I did the numbers. If each person just helped one or two people make a connection back with their Heavenly Father across a year, that's 1500 in one year, and then he'd go exponentially that 1500 do the same thing, just one or two people each year.

The numbers by the time you get up to year six and seven is twice the size of our city. And you not, you look at it and go, ah, that couldn't happen. It happened in the first century when they took, they were serious about mission, and they were serious about loving people on God's behalf, and they were willing to sacrifice.

And when people would discard children, these weird people would pick them up and they'd take them in and they'd love them and they'd care for them, and they loved each other, and they sold things, and they served each other and they served the community. And this thing exploded. I think it could happen again.

If people just realize, yeah, we're weird and we're different, but there's a mission that is supposed to transform us into the image of Christ and see a city and a community renewed. So let me give you this final bit of advice. I wanna challenge this a community. Community stop viewing church as a place that you attend something that you go to.

Start to see it as a weird herd that you are on mission with, and you need to get from an outsider to the inside by picking up a towel and just stepping in. So this, I think, will help you. What if we gave each other permission to be imperfect, annoying, and complicated? Hard. What if we did that? Just say, you know what?

We're a weird herd. I know you're a bit like Diego. I can tell it. Oh, you're Sid man. You're nor the nevermind. But what if look permission to be imperfect, annoying, and complicated? That pretty much just sums up my life. Yes, it's fine. But if we gave each other permission to be like that, then you won't be so upset if things don't work the way that you feel like they should work.

Because people have issues of their past and we're all growing, but the mission will transform us a little bit at a time. And the mission that the father's put in place is massive and it needs everybody on board. And what if we then just said, you know what? No matter what happens. We are gonna refuse to quit on each other.

We're gonna refuse to quit. I hear it all the time. Someone does something and they said this, I'm leaving that church. Good luck. There's the worst one down the road. There's more down there. There's annoying people everywhere. Wait till you get down there, Libby. Two of those ones that you didn't like here, there'd be three down there because that's 'cause the object of the mission is to conform you to the image of Christ.

And if you have an issue with that, if you have an issue with patience. There's gonna be one or two people in here that's gonna bug the living daylights out of you. But if you walk off, I'm guarantee there's gonna be 10 down there because God knows, ha, I know what your problem is and he'll send 10 to you because the issue is to, for us to change, to become more like Christ so that the mission can take place.

I think we should do that. Just give each other permission and this whole thing of forgiveness. You can't hang onto it. Jesus was so clear. He said, if you don't forgive others, when they make mistakes against you, says your heavenly Father won't forgive you. So therefore, if you hang onto something, you're deciding I will play God and I will bear out the judgment for 'em.

Then you just negate the connection with the Father. You just gotta relax and you just gotta say, you know what? And my wife and I, we've been doing church work for how long, honey? Oh, too long. Don't talk. But we, I st I struggled so much as a younger leader, because people would just treat me badly.

I don't know why I felt as people would treat me really well as a pastor, but maybe, no, maybe it's just me. But we would have all sorts of things. We'd go home and we'd sit on the kitchen floor and this one did this and this one did that, and it's I think we drank a few bottles of wine in those days, I'm not sure.

But it was like, what's going on? Why do these people keep doing this? What have we ever done to them? And I realized they're in then that people don't hurt us because they're evil. They hurt us 'cause they're broken. And when someone reacts to you, it's because something you've said or something you've done or something that has reminded them of something previous and they don't know how to deal with it.

And so therefore it comes out. So Anne and I have this little thing now where I just go, oh honey, there's something in the middle of my back. Could you like pull that out there? And then she'd just take it out and we go, ah. They say, let's carry on. We're imperfect. We are weird. But at our church, everyone plays.

We're all in. We all love, we all serve. We all care. Leave the sidelines and get on the field. And let God do what God wants to do. Move us from outsiders to insiders, which is the journey to family, conform to the image of Christ, and then make us healthy to get children that are far from God back to God.

That's our mission. Let's pray. Father, I just thank you for the way that you just keep pursuing us, even when we were far from you, when we were a long way from you Lord, and we weren't really deserving. Of anything because we'd already broken the relationship, but then you came and you insert yourself in, you send Jesus, and then Jesus modeled for us what a life looks like and how to stay focused on mission.

And so well, I just love the fact that he didn't quit on anybody, and we are not gonna quit on anybody either. So would you just help us to manage things when it gets hard to not take offense and help us to trust when we're scared. And help us to forgive and knowing that people don't hurt us because they're intentionally doing it, but something has happened.

Give each other permission to be imperfect. And then, Lord, help us to keep focused on the fact there are people in our world everywhere that need help to get back into relationship with you. Need our hearts together for the mission changes on the mission, because mission really matters. We thank you in Jesus' name.

Amen.