Why Forgiveness Is the Hardest (And Most Powerful) Thing You Will Ever Do

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  Today, we're going to talk about greater love. Greater love. Now, when I was going over preparing and and going over what what to share about here with this this morning, I was thinking, man, I'm in church talking about greater love, like that's such a generic topic when it comes to Christianity, isn't it? Love. The love of God, the love of of one another. We're called to love God with all our heart, we're called to love others as we love ourselves. And so I was feeling like, oh Lord, I just feel like this is going to be generic, I don't want it to be um just something that we that just goes in one ear and out the other. I know that never happens with sermons at church, never ever.

  And I don't so I was like God I don't want it to be that, I want it to be something that that might stick. If we can get something that sticks just a little, then hopefully it's something that we can grasp hold of and we can take into our daily life out into our week. I was actually talking to someone this week, a very wise person I was talking to this week. And they said, and they said to and I was telling them oh yeah I'm preaching on Sunday and I'm talking about love, you know, talking about greater love and um and they said, oh, they said to me, they said, Simon, I've been in church all my life pretty much. Been in all my life I've been in church, I've listened to many many sermons, many church messages. And he said, you know what the key is, the key thing you want to do is you want to give everyone just one thing to take home. One thing. We're not going to have a 25-point sermon. Just one thing, that is my goal today is to give us one thing to take home. One thing that we can dwell on, we can think about, we might even be able to put some things into action on this one thing. So I'm going to see how I go, I'm going to try my best. I'm going to take your advice Sam. I'll come up with the one thing in a minute right.

  But we're going to see how we go. So does that sound like a plan, is that alright? Yeah? Okay, righto. Okay, so to understand greater love, okay we've got to look at a few things. We've got to look at God's love for you and me. Okay, we've got to look at loving those who hurt us. And the biggest one I believe is loving ourselves the way God loves us. Okay. So love is a word that we often use. We talk about how we love our family. We love our friends. Some of us love our food, oh I love our food. Love our pets, love our hobbies. We talk about it all the time, but the love that God speaks about in scripture, it is deeper than that. It's deeper, it's stronger, it's more sacrificial than anything that the world can ever understand. The love of God.

  Now I'm not going to sugarcoat it, greater love is hard. Greater love is a hard to do at times. And as we go deeper into this message we will we'll realize that. It can be hard, so the best place to start is to realize that God loved us first. Okay, so no matter how hard it feels like it is or how hard it might seem, remember God did it first. God did it first, he set the example. God loved us first. So before we talk about loving others and loving ourselves, we've got to start with the truth that God loved us first. You see the world says, you know, love people who treat you well. You know love people who deserve it. They come up with like titles like the unlovable, oh they're the unlovable. And the world says, you know, if people are nice, that's then you love them, you know look after the ones that look after you. But God's love doesn't operate that way. It flips it completely around and that's why the world gets all weirded out by it.

  The Apostle Paul writes in Romans 5:8. He says, but God demonstrates his own love toward us. Toward us. In this while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this, that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. I want to point out the word here demonstrates. Demonstrates. God demonstrates his love. He doesn't talk about his love for us, he doesn't tweet about it, he doesn't start a podcast about it. He demonstrates it. He demonstrates it, he puts it into action. God proves his love, he proved it. And he proved it not when we were perfect. Not when we were perfect, not when we had all things together, not when we deserved it. He loved us while we were still sinners. Still sinners. So in other words, he had no guarantee at all that we would love him back. He had no guarantee that we would even believe in him. And yet he loved us so much that he sent his only son Jesus to die on a cross to take away the punishment that we deserve for our sin. That is greater love. That is greater love. And as I said, this leads us into Easter this series, so that's going to be exciting.

  And that's the foundation of the gospel, if God waited until we were worthy, he'd still he'd still be wait he'd still be waiting. He'd still be waiting. Because none of us would ever receive it. It's almost, oh, I would have but I got I got to wait, you know. God didn't wait. He went straight away, he loved us first. He chose grace for us.

  So the next thing we look at is loving those who have hurt us. Loving those who have hurt us, greater love forgives. Greater love forgives. One of the hardest commands in Christianity is loving those who have hurt us. Loving those who have hurt us. And let me tell you, some people make it very, very hard to love them. Now if that person is sitting next to you this morning, don't make eye contact. I have uh been dealing this week with someone who has made it very, very hard to love them. It's no one from here so don't try and figure it out. I saw I saw him talking to that person in the cafe what's going on. It's no one from here. But they make it very difficult to love them. But we've got to choose grace, greater love forgives.

  You see the truth is some of us have been wounded deeply. We've been betrayed by friends, abandoned by family even. We've been hurt by people that we trusted. Things were going great and then suddenly out of the blue we they they hurt us and they left us. And that pain church, that pain is real and I completely understand that. It's a real pain. But greater love calls us to something that is supernatural. Something that is bigger than that. It's not pretending that the hurt didn't happen, we don't brush it under the carpet. It's not allowing abuse to continue. But it's choosing forgiveness instead of bitterness. Forgiveness. Now forgiveness is not about saying what happened was okay. Forgiveness is about refusing to let hatred control your heart. It's a powerful strong word, hatred, hatred. Because what happens is bitterness becomes a prison and it locks you in. And the funny thing about bitterness is most bitter people don't even know that they're bitter. Have you noticed that? They don't even realize. And that bitterness has locked them in.

  When we hold on to anger, we end up carrying a weight that God never asked us to carry. He never asked us to carry that. But we end up just carrying it and weighing it down, the bitterness. So with greater love, with the greater love, we learn to forgive. And when we can do that, it actually sets you free. It sets you free. It doesn't mean those people are going to disappear. Sometimes we hope they would but it doesn't mean that. Doesn't mean that that problem is going to go away. But what it does is it sets you free inside. Sets you free.

  You know one of the best examples and this story for me, I've always loved this story even since since I was just a young Christian. First young young teenager, became a Christian, gave my heart to the Lord, started reading reading the Bible wherever I could, you know just started reading, and this story was one that always stuck in my mind and I always used to go and read it again and. And it's the story of Joseph. Joseph. Read about it in the book of Genesis. It's such a powerful story. You know it starts in chapter 37, Joseph he was he was loved by his father, his youngest son lots of brothers, he was loved by his father, even shown a bit of favor by his father. And so in turn his brothers they hated him. They hated him. His brothers were so jealous of him and their jealousy it grew into hatred. And so one day they made a really bad decision and they attacked Joseph and they threw him into a pit. They felt just a little bit bad about that so they dragged him out of the pit and then they sold him as a slave and sent him to another country. Such nice guys they were. So thoughtful. And then they went home and they lied to their father and said that Joseph their brother had died. So imagine the father is ah he's grief-stricken. Imagine that, imagine. So in one foul swoop, Joseph lost his home, he lost his family, and he lost his freedom. And he was only a young guy, he was like 17 years old. So you think about that. This actually happened.

  You imagine the pain that he felt, the abandonment. And rightly so, the anger. Oh man, he had every right to be bitter. But God had a bigger plan for him, and as we read the story of Joseph, things begin to come to light. We read the story through Genesis and there's these major events that take place in his life, you know attacked by his brother, sold into slavery. And then he he goes and works in a in an official's house in Egypt and he works his way up to the top, and then he gets accused of something falsely and he gets thrown into dungeon, prison. And then he works his way back up again and he becomes the second in charge of Egypt, an entire country. And the one thing, as I remember I remember reading this story when I was when I was just a young Christian. And I looked at all the terrible things that happened to Joseph and the different events and it was like this rollercoaster, woo he's up and then the next minute he's down again. And as you read the story at the start there's a there's a there's a line that that is said at the start of every one of these events that takes place. And it says, but the Lord was with Joseph.

  The Lord was with Joseph. And he prospered. Sorry I just it just keeps flashing back to when when I first became a Christian, but that's that's something that has always stood out to me, but the Lord was with Joseph. And he prospered, so through many trials he went through this rollercoaster ride until eventually he became like Pharaoh, Pharaoh was like the dude of Egypt right, he became Pharaoh's right-hand man. Second in charge. And this is many years on, okay, many years have passed. And a famine struck the land, and not just Egypt but all the countries around, there was major famine everywhere, people were starving to death literally. And Egypt was like a storehouse because Joseph had followed the Lord's instruction and caused it to prosper as well. And so his so people came from far and wide to Egypt to get supplies, to get food because they were hungry. And lo and behold Joseph's very brothers came to Egypt to get some food, hand out please can you help us. But the crazy thing is they didn't know that it was Joseph that they were talking to. They just assumed he had died years ago. Almost forgotten about him. And they stood before their brother Joseph and said please can you help us.

  That's powerful. If you were put into that position right now, how would have you reacted? I won't answer that. I know how I would have reacted at times. You know Joseph had the power, man he had the power right there. He could have punished them, he could have taken revenge, he could have done exactly to them what they did to him. And he had every right to do it. Like man, how dare you come here after what you did to me. But instead Joseph chose greater love. Greater love. And he said something extraordinary in Genesis 50 verse 20 he said you intended to harm me, but God intended it for good. Joseph forgave them, not because what they did was right, but because Joseph trusted God's purpose more. He trusted God's purpose more than he held on to his own pain. And that is powerful. And that is powerful.

  So Joseph teaches us something important, forgiveness is not weakness. The world looks at it that way. They say if you choose to forgive someone who's hurt you then you're being weak. Man you've got to get up and you've got to slam them and you've got to do what you need to do. Forgiveness is not weakness, forgiveness is actually strength. It takes more strength to forgive than it does to hate. Because hate is easy, man hate is so easy to do. You don't have to look very far. There's hate and rage going on all over the place. You walk drive down the street with cars and go to the shopping center and people screaming at shopping attendants. Hate is easy. But when we when we respond to hate with hate then it's just a vicious circle that just keeps going around and around and no one gets anywhere. You know the person going off their brain thinks that they're winning, but it's not. It's just a circle, it's just going around and around, it's not changing anything. See when we respond with grace, something powerful happens. Grace changes hearts. It changes hearts. And we have to believe that that does happen. We have to believe that God can do a work in that person. That person that just gets you every time. Some of you are even thinking about that person right now. You have to believe that God can change their heart. We have to believe it. And then sometimes it actually changes our own heart when we do that, which is cool as well.

  So to understand greater love, we look at God's love for us, he loved us first. Loving those who have hurt us. Okay and finally we look at loving ourselves. Biblical self-love is not pride or arrogance, it's not being proud. It's not you know having a big head as we say oh scratching your head from out here, you know it's not. Not that you've got a big head. It means recognizing your value in God's eyes, you are valued in God's eyes. You're valued. God created you, God redeemed you, and God has a purpose for your life. When we truly accept God's love, some things happen. We stop living in shame. Okay, we become free to love others because we're not so burdened by what we're feeling about ourselves. And we stop seeking validation from others, we stop seeking approval from others.

  This is a big one, I actually struggled with this one a lot growing up. I struggled, I was when I was about 15 years old, I went to my first and only school disco. Alright? First and only one I've ever been to, the first one I went to. Now when I when I went to school, I was at school, I had a group of friends, we all hung out together. Now we we weren't the cool kids, okay. And it's funny how I can describe these particular groups of people and everyone knows straight away who you're talking about. We weren't the cool kids. Okay we weren't the sporty sport billy kids you know. We weren't the jocks as they say. We weren't we weren't like the the the drama dance dance kids, the performing arts kids you know. We weren't like the the tech nerds that knew everything technical and played Rubik's Cube and all that sort of stuff. We were just the normals, I guess I don't know, we're just like the normals, we're just like the in-betweens, just like whatever just went to school and hung out with our friends. So but it's funny because I say I struggled with this because I used to look at the cool kids. I used to look at the cool kids and I'd be like, man. I want to be like that. I want to be a bit more you know because everyone's there high five and everyone's saying hello to them and you know I could walk through a whole crowd and they wouldn't even recognize me or wouldn't even acknowledge that I was there. But the cool kids got all the high fives and everyone having a chat with them and I thought man I want to be more like those guys.

  And so they they made the announcement that they're having the school disco. And I thought you know what and all the cool kids are like yeah school disco yeah they're all excited, they're all getting ready for it. And I thought you know what, maybe we should go so I sat I sat with my friends I said hey guys we should go to the disco, see what it's check it out you know see what it's like. In my mind I'm thinking you know I want to see get on the other side there and have a go you know. And there was all the pretty girls in the cool kids group as well, so I was 15 years old, come on. So I thought let's make this happen, so I went to Kmart, got myself a new outfit. I know. Now this was this was the 80s, okay 80s, Anne, the 80s. Good times, good times the 80s. Alright I went to got my I got my new outfit, I got my lemon yellow trousers. Alright I got a white button-up short sleeve shirt, like and a thin black leather tie, just the strap tie you know. You know I looked like a Mormon. Except for the yellow pants, and then I had the white the white leather look loafers with the zippers up the side you know. And you top all that off with a flowing bright red mullet. Oh yeah. Yeah Katie is a lucky woman I tell ya. I'm telling you, look out, it was like look out cool kids, cool girls, I'm I'm in.

  So I went down my mum dropped me off at the school hall, right. I know I know my mum dropped me. How cool can you get you know. The family station wagon right right right. My mum dropped me off, I could hear the music dun dun dun and I was like oh yes. And so I you know burst open the doors try to make a bit of a scene here I come hello hello world look at me. 15 year old bag of hormones. Drenched in Lynx Africa. Come on. And it was all dark and dingy and I'm looking in there and the music was loud and there was these groups of people dancing in circles, you know have you been experiencing the circle dance, yeah they're all. And I'm like oh and I'm looking around and there's the cool kids over there, and there's the there's the cool girls with all the big hair and the shoulder pads. It was the 80s, Anne it was the 80s it was good times. And so I'm in there I'm looking around, none of my friends came. None of my friends. Not one, so I'm there with my with my gear alright. And I'm like oh man, so I've got to try and make my way to the cool kid groups you know and sort of try and break my way into the circle. You know and I'm doing these ones. And I'm biting I'm biting the bottom lip even, got the head going. You spin me right round baby right round you know. Such deep lyrics in those songs. So I go to the group and I'm sort of trying to squeeze in I'm doing this one and they just sort of close the group up and I'm just like okay not today. Just going I'm coming over to this group over here and I'm trying close the. I got shut out, I got shut out of every group. I walked around, I know I know it hurt. I walked around I was like oh I lasted about 45 minutes. And I know I tried, I tried hard, I tried hard, I sat I did sit in the corner for a little while in the darkness. Oh my asthma's playing up my asthma's playing up.

  I walked home and I thought man I went home and my life was like the plot of a cheesy Netflix movie. And I went home and I was like oh and I'm not going to lie, I was I felt really dejected, I felt I felt pretty sad. I thought man I gave it a go, I was thinking I wanted to I had this you know this picture of you know the cool kids and what's it what it's like to be you know to be accepted by them. And I thought that was not how I planned it to go and I didn't think it was going to go that way. And so I did, I felt I felt sorry for myself. And I was like ah you know look at me I've got really nothing. Except for these new clothes. Which I never wore again. Ever, they hung up in my cupboard. And you know and I remember clearly, I clearly remember it, I I mean I can tell you word for word almost what the people said to me. You know and and so I looked at that and I was like this is not this is not the plan you know. And I felt sorry for myself and I felt upset. And uh and then slowly slowly I came around. You know and I was thinking you know what and I started to reflect and I said I was just a young Christian at that point, I'd only been like a Christian for a couple of years and I was I was just a young kid only 15. And so I was sort of still learning about relationship with God and learning about you know listening to his voice and hearing him speak to me and reading reading the word and and feeding from that. I was just learning about that sort of stuff and so I did I turned to the Bible, I remember at that time those over the next few days few weeks I just started reading reading my Bible. I'd get up early in the morning and start reading my Bible again you know and and I'd always swing back to the Old the Old Testament and read some of the old Bible hero stories. And the classic always for me was Joseph. Was Joseph. And that I've got I think I've got my old Bible still at my mum and dad's house but I've got I've got it underlined, it's highlighted and underlined and that statement that says but the Lord was with him.

  The Lord was with him and he prospered. And I thought you know what that is all I need. That's all I need, all I need to know is that the Lord is with me. The Lord is with me, it doesn't really matter what the world thinks, it doesn't really matter what people think about you. Or what you know what groups you're part of or what talents you have, it doesn't matter. As long as you know that the Lord is with you. Then you will prosper, you might not prosper you might not be rich and famous and all these sorts of things, but you will prosper in so many other ways that will benefit you for the rest of your life. You prosper in joy and you prosper in peace. You prosper in the ability to love others even when they are unlovable.

  People who don't love themselves often struggle to love others. But when you understand who you are, and more importantly you understand whose you are. And you understand how much God loves you, then love for others actually just overflows out of you. You can't help it. So greater love, so as I mentioned this series takes us all the way to Easter, so the ultimate demonstration, the God demonstrated greater love, the ultimate one is the cross. The cross equals love. Cross equals love.

  Jesus forgave people who mocked him. Jesus forgave people who had beaten him. He forgave people who crucified him. And he even prayed for people while he was dying. We've we've read the scripture, we know the story where Jesus says, Father forgive these people they don't know what they're doing. Please forgive them. Forgive them, he's hanging on a cross man. And he says God forgive them please. That's greater love, that is greater love. That's described in Romans 5:8. Yet while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Greater love sacrifices, it forgives, and it redeems. So here's the one thing. The one thing I want you to take home, you probably picked it already. The one thing I want you to take home today and that is the Lord is with you. And that was when I was going over this and I struggled with this, I thought God this just seems too easy, this just seems too simple. It's too simple. Like everyone's we want something deep you know and something really revolutionary. But I don't know, it worked for me. So I believe it can work for anyone. The Lord is with you. The same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead lives in you. That same spirit, the same spirit that created the universe. It lives in you, lives in you. The Lord is with you. He will give you strength to love others, and he will give you strength to love yourself. And as we're preparing here musos, can we sing that last song that we sang please? Because that's going to fit perfectly I think.

  Living out greater love, how do we live it out? How do we do it practically? When you understand God's love, loving others and loving yourself becomes possible. So I have a challenge and it's three questions that I want you to ask yourself maybe at lunch today when you're sitting around the family lounge room dinner table over this next coming week. Or it might be something you just want to sit personally reflect on yourself and ask yourself these questions. Remember the Lord is with you. The Lord is with you. So ask yourself, is there someone that I need to forgive? Is there someone I need to forgive? Am I holding, dare I say am I holding hatred towards someone and I need to let that go? I need to release it. Is there someone you need to forgive? Is there pain that you need to release to God? Is there pain that enough is enough, I need just to release this, this has held me for too long. And the third question is have you accepted God's love for you? I know those people that we prayed for earlier. You are not your past, you are not your worst mistake. I believe we can all live in that one. You are not your worst mistake. God loves you. The Lord is with you.

  The Lord is with you and the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead lives in you. And we remember that he is the same yesterday, today, and forever, so the the God that was with Joseph is the God that's with us right now, and he is the God that will be with us tomorrow. God showed us greater love through his son Jesus, and now he calls us to show that same love. Show it to those who have hurt us, to those who have disappointed us, and especially show it to yourself. Greater love. Greater love. The greatest testimony of the gospel is a life that is changed by greater love. Let's pray together.

  Father thank you. Thank you Lord first and foremost that you loved us first. That you sent your only son to die to take the place of our punishment. And Lord we just accept and receive that and thank you for it. Lord I just pray that this message Lord will just sink into all of us Lord and we will know that you are with us. You are with us in the trenches of our daily lives every day of the week, you are with us Lord. I pray you help us to tap into that reality and that truth. And Lord I pray that you give us strength, give us strength and courage Lord to forgive, to forget. Lord and to love ourselves. Lord I pray you help us to do that. Because we know that you are a faithful God and you stand by your promise and your word and Lord we just we just thank you so much for that. Seal it today in our hearts we ask in Jesus' name. And everybody said together. Amen.