The Truth About Parenting Teens (An Honest Conversation)
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Up Close Kirsten
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Kev: To start with, Kirsten, who are the people in your family? Who call you home or call you Mom? Tell us about your
Kirsten: family. There's myself and my awesome husband, Brad. And I have, Audrey is my eldest, and Margo, my other daughter, is upstairs on kids this morning.
Kev: Have we got a photo of that so we can see these good-looking people?
So that's Brad. He's a good-looking man, isn't he? Couple of girls there. So what's Brad do for a living?
Kirsten: He's a teacher.
Kev: Oh, really?
Kirsten: He teaches like manual arts, so-
Kev: Wow ... doing a lot of working with his hands.
Kirsten: So how
Kev: come, how come he doesn't serve in our kids and youth area then? '
Kirsten: Cause he's a teacher.
Kev: Okay. That's your family.
Kirsten: Yeah.
Kev: So give us a little bit of a snapshot. What does a, what does an average day in the Scherz house look like? Just an average day, what does it look like?
Kirsten: Just a normal day. I think it probably looks like most households, so get up. Two devotions most of the time, Orbs and I.
And making lunches, going in early for whatever extracurricular activities are on, working having more extracurricular activities, and then eating dinner and going to sleep.
Kev: Exhausted?
Kirsten: Probably some TV in there.
Kev: Oh, really? Yeah. I might find out about that later. So do you f- so basically, I was exhausted just listening to you talk about that.
So that's an average day, is it?
Kirsten: Yeah, that's pretty average day- Okay ... hey, Orbs. Study, lots of homework and-
Kev: Got a dog? I didn't see-
Kirsten: We do have a dog ... I didn't
Kev: see a dog.
Kirsten: I know. She's not up there. We should've sent you a photo of the dog as well. She's the most important part of the family.
Kev: Is that right? She eats the most?
Oh, no- Our dog eats the most ... she doesn't. So let's just before we do any other backstory, let's just talk a little bit more about it. What do you love about being a mom?
Kirsten: I am probably the least naturally maternal person in the room. I've ne- I never was like, "Oh, I just wanna have kids. Oh, I just love kids so much."
That's not me at all.
Kev: That was a really lovely way- That was a really lovely way- Just saying ... of saying, "I'm a bad mom." Yeah. Is that what you're saying?
Kirsten: But I think but I always knew that it was something that I did want to have children. Yeah. And I think the greatest joy is just getting to have that relationship and watching them grow and especially now that my girls are 13 and 14, so the relationship has changed a fair bit, and we really have more of a a little bit more of that peer relationship coming where you can have those conversations.
And they're so beautiful and just, they just yeah, they're such a blessing. Lots of challenges, but such- ... such a blessing to have. Like they just- Yeah, maybe
Kev: if you can explore some of those challenges a little bit. Oh,
Kirsten: I just love it. I love the hugs, and I love- The conversations and just watching them grow and become who God created them to be as individuals is incredible
Kev: Audrey's looking at you like "Who are you?
Who is this woman that's talking to me?" I didn't know you felt like that about me. Okay, so that's what you love about being a mom. W- what kind of, what challenges you about being a mom? What keeps you on your knees praying about you being a mom?
Kirsten: I think the biggest challenge is feelings.
Just so many feelings with two teenage girls. So I think that definitely is, "Lord, give me patience." That's my greatest struggle, I think, as a parent, and I think that's what... I remember one person told me a long time ago that people who are challenging, they're like your, ... your character personal trainers.
So I think kids are like personal trainers for your character, 'cause you've gotta grow in patience and in that love and all of that. But on my- So
Kev: if you're summing up your relationship with your-
Kirsten: Sorry.
Kev: So if you're sum- summing up your relationship with the kids, what is that one word that you would say?
What... If you could just use one word, what would it be?
Kirsten: My relat- love.
Kev: Love?
Kirsten: Yeah.
Kev: Okay.
Kirsten: Is that okay?
Kev: Yeah. I don't know. This is your story, not mine. I-
Kirsten: But in terms of what drives me to my knees is their relationship with God. Yeah. That's the most important thing for me as a mom, is for them to connect with Jesus and find their savior, because God is gonna be a much bigger part of their life than I will ever be.
Kev: And that's cool. Yeah ... because we do live in a world that's full of distractions away from God, so that's a pretty, I think that's a pretty significant thing that most parents would be concerned about. So listen, I asked you to bring along an object that means something to you. So why don't we start with you, Kirsten?
What object in your life means something to you?
Kirsten: So when you initially asked, you wanted something that-
Kev: Yeah ...
Kirsten: that I've held onto that's- Yeah ... been precious, and I said, "I'm-" not sentimental at all, and I'm an anti-hoarder so I don't have anything. The one thing that I think that I've had for the longest in my life is actually my Bible, which I saved up for.
It's like a fancy Bible with the gold and stuff, and I saved up to buy that and to buy this leather case for it- Protected ... when I was younger. And it was... And this has been, like, my lifeline, throughout my life.
Kev: So it's the key thing. That's the- Yeah ... that's your go-to object.
Kirsten: Yeah. That would be the thing that I own that I've had for the longest, and that would be...
I have other Bibles, but this one was the one that I really sacrificed for because I wanted to grow in my relationship with God, and it's been precious. And we were laughing. It's very important to me. I used to sleep with this Bible every night until I got married. Was like- And I used to have- So Brad
Kev: had a lot
I used to have
Kirsten: really bad
Kev: nightmares- He had a
Kirsten: lot
Kev: to
Kirsten: stack up against ... when I was a kid. Yeah. And I would lie in my bed, and I would face one way, and I'd put my Bible at my back, 'cause God had my back and he was protecting me-
Kev: Oh, very
Kirsten: cool ... through the night. Oh, look at... I see-
Kev: Very
Kirsten: cool. That was a good story.
But then I would hug it, and then-
Kev: I put mine under the bed ...
Kirsten: and then I married Brad. He's not quite as good, but,
Kev: yeah. Oh, you gotta have lunch with him later, yeah, I put my Bible under the bed- Yeah ... to protect me from the dog. The cavoodle is everywhere, that's cool. Okay. So if that could talk, what would it say is the one key thing or the major thing in your life that it's spoken to you about?
Kirsten: I think the biggest thing for me was knowing that I am loved and that I'm not alone. I struggled a lot with that as a young person, is just really feeling unlovable and feeling yeah, just that I was alone and struggling. I was very emotional person as a young person, and had a lot of I would just spiral, "Oh, the world is against me, and everything's horrible."
But God, when I met Jesus I understood that I had value and that I had worth and that I was loved and that I would never be alone, that God is with me through everything. And that- Very cool ... is what this represents for me- Very cool ... is that God is with me through-
Kev: Yeah ...
Kirsten: through it all.
Kev: And I've got to watch a lot of that journey, so that's very cool.
Now, what about you, Audrey? Come on. What's your go-to object that means the most to you?
Audrey: I've brought in this toy I've had since, I think I was- for most of- Yeah, since I was born. His name is Kiki, 'cause I couldn't say Mickey when I was little, so his name's Kiki.
Kev: Kiki's a good name.
Audrey: Yeah. And yeah.
Kev: So what does it mean to you? W- when you look at it, what's it, what sort of emotion or what sort of thing comes to mind?
Audrey: I feel like he was always there. Like, when nobody else was there, he was always there, 'cause I always went to my room and had a cry or something, and he was always there.
And I feel like he's a very good listener.
Kev: He's a good listener, he's a good listener.
Audrey: Yeah.
Kev: That's great. So that's Kiki?
Audrey: Yeah.
Kev: Kiki. All right. You hang on to Kiki over there. So let's now have a little bit of the backstory. Let's go to the backstory. So tell us about your family. Have you got a photo of your family growing up when you were younger?
Do we have one?
Kirsten: Yeah, that's me and my mum. I think Chris has made them. They were very old photos that I gave him, and he's spruced them up so you can see them. So I grew up middle child, so that-
Kev: Oh, that
Kirsten: explains
Kev: a lot ...
Kirsten: all my issues are there. Two sisters, so an older sister, younger sister, my mum and my dad, and we grew up, my family are all farmers.
But we grew up in Brisbane on property there. My parents met Jesus when I was 10, so I didn't grow up in a Christian home in our early years.
Kev: Okay, so you had no faith in the early years?
Kirsten: Correct.
Kev: Okay. Yeah. So tell me what a day was like in the Hammond house growing up. What was it like?
Kirsten: Oh, geez. When
Kev: you were a kid.
Kirsten: I'm old, so I don't remember a lot, but ...
Kev: Really?
Kirsten: How old are you? Oh, look, it was quite volatile. We were definitely an expressive household, so if you had an issue, you just let the person know that there was an issue and and then it was all good. How what do you mean?
How- So we, we were very, just got it all out. None of this passive-aggressive stuff. If you got a problem, you just let 'em know and then move on and life is good.
Kev: So everyone's just in each other's face all the time and just let it go?
Kirsten: We, I- A lot
Kev: of yelling ...
Kirsten: I grew up on land, so we weren't quite, in each other's face.
We had our space and you'd just go and-
Kev: Hide
Kirsten: in the cows ... do your thing. Lots of horses, lots of yeah, just running around the paddocks and stuff like that.
Kev: Okay. So in those earlier years when there was no faith in the home-
...
Kev: Was there any kind of thought process about God? Was there any kind of religious tone- Well-
or anything like that? ...
Kirsten: we had RE at my school.
Kev: Did
Kirsten: you? So that was the entirety of my knowledge of God, was RE at the school.
Kev: Okay.
Kirsten: And, I knew that Goliath was nine feet tall. That's about it. Yeah.
Kev: Wow. Gotta get the most important thing out there.
Kirsten: I'm trying to think. That was the story I remember, that the guy who did our RE, he put a s- a sticker on the wall to show how high nine feet was, and then no one could get it down.
So it was just always there. That's my memory of of, yeah, RE. And then when my parents got saved, my mom actually became an RE teacher, and she did that for years, actually, in my primary school that I had gone to, which was pretty cool.
Kev: Okay so following Jesus as you would understand it now wasn't really part of your life growing up.
Kirsten: No.
Kev: And you were saying it was a very volatile house, like lots of strong-speaking things going on? Yeah. Was that did you ever go back and look at your parents' parents to see, did they, were they volatile as well, or was it-
Kirsten: look, I think that my... I don't have really close relationships with my extended family.
So whilst I did see my grandparents my, my grandfather died a year after my parents got married, so he was on my dad's side, was never in the picture. But I do know that my parents both grew up in households where communication was not modeled to them. So when they got married, my parents got married, and they literally went from their wedding to go live on a property in the middle of nowhere, 'cause there was a crisis on the property, and my grandfather's health was out, and they just had to go.
They never had a honeymoon. They just had to go and live in the middle of nowhere. And they grew up in households where they were never taught to communicate. So for them, it was incredibly difficult. And they did not model to us great communication- ... skills with that. And that's why it's been quite extraordinary to watch their journey of faith as they have grown as followers of Jesus and how that's changed them.
Kev: So you were about 10 when they- ... c- came to the knowledge of Christ for themselves. So how did that come about for them?
Kirsten: So my parents were involved in a business and got led to the Lord through the business that they were part of. I remember, so it was quite like, when you did something wrong in my household, you got in a lot of trouble, and it was quite it was strong discipline happening in our household.
And my parents went away to this conference, and while they were away, we had th- one of those little rebounders, those little mini trampoliny things. They're awesome. And I was jumping on the rebounder and pulling myself up on the curtain- Ooh ... and the curtain came out of the wall. And there is a hole this big in the wall, and I'm like, "I am dead."
"I am absolutely dead." And then my parents come home from this conference, and I get called into Dad's office.
Kev: You got to go to Dad's office?
Kirsten: Oh yeah. That's where you went, to Dad's office, and you had a conversation about what you'd done wrong, and then you got your consequence.
Kev: Ooh, nice.
Kirsten: Yep. Yep. Now, it wasn't like, lashing out.
It was, quite structured. And and sitting across from his desk, and he said, "It's okay. I forgive you." And I'm like- what just happened? 'Cause I'm thinking I'm about to get the belting of a lifetime.
Kev: Really?
Kirsten: And he just said, "It's okay. I forgive you." And that was so dramatic in our household to just see this huge change.
And it, not like nobody ever yelled at anybody after that. We're still who we are, but just to see that God had done something so deep in my dad's heart and yeah, so it was really cool.
Kev: So do you think that really affected you growing up, like having someone, like authoritarian like that and a fear of making a mistake or anything like that?
Did that contribute to your feelings of insecurity or?
Kirsten: When I say that there was, like, I really don't wanna paint a wrong picture about, like I probably got in our house it was the horse whip. This is terrible.
Kev: You've got a horse
Kirsten: whip? Don't... But, Real,
Kev: real horses?
Kirsten: But probably four times in my whole life, so I'm not talking about that this is stuff happening. You really had to do something bad. One time I kicked in the glass door and shattered the door. I literally opened the door and ran 'cause I'm like, "I'm gonna get, I'm gonna get hit for this one."
I'm like, so you really had to do something majorly wrong in the house.
Kev: This is revealing. Yeah,
Kirsten: I know, right? This, maybe I'm oversharing. You told
Kev: me you didn't have any stories. I didn't tell my dad I was- You said you had a boring life. You got nothing
Kirsten: there. Sorry, Dad. But but I had awesome parents, but there definitely was a sense of fear for me growing up.
Yeah. And I really didn't want that for my kids. I didn't want them to have that sense of fear.
Kev: That's great.
Kirsten: Yeah.
Kev: Would you like to grow up in that household?
Kirsten: I don't-
Kev: Would you like it if Mum- Don't share about
Kirsten: our
Kev: house. Would you like it if Mum and Dad, would you like it if Mum and Dad would start kinda like yelling at you a little bit more?
Maybe give you a belting now and then?
Kirsten: We do yell at you sometimes, hey.
Kev: Oh. So there's still a little bit of a residue?
Kirsten: Oh, I don't think there's, I think there are healthy ways of expressing yourself.
Kev: Okay.
Kirsten: Yeah, yeah, sometimes it's fair enough, honestly. I would yell at me, too.
Kev: Now that is honesty from a young person.
That's good. So you feel like sometimes you should, you deserve someone to yell at you because you did something? Wow. Do you wanna talk about that? No. I didn't think so. This is,
Kirsten: this is not the direction this interview was meant to go.
Kev: No, this c- this you told me you had a boring life.
There was nothing to explore. This is amazing. This is great. So listen, life never goes in a straight line, so there are things, there are incidents, you've already talked about some of your family, which affected you growing up, at, with insecurity and things like that. What about specific moments with, that, that changed the course of your life?
Was there anything in particular that you could think of when that happened, or that conversation, or that thing took place that, that really changed the course of my life?
Kirsten: Definitely my faith in God is what changed the course of my life. So I was very yeah, very insecure. Very much so just wanted to be loved. I just wanted people to love me. I would run away from home, to the shed so that somebody would miss me and I'd feel loved, that somebody wanted to find where I was.
And things like that. But then when I ... Mum and Dad got saved and we started going to church, and initially my sister and I would just sit in the car and refuse to go into church. But eventually some of the other kids, I think they got hit up to, "Go get those girls to come inside." And and so we started going to the children's church, and just on that journey of discovering Jesus and then making a choice to follow him.
And that relationship completely changed my life. That is- Yeah ... 100% the most significant thing that ever happened to me in my life, was making that decision to follow Jesus when I was 12. And then I got baptized when I was 13, and that has been the single most significant thing in my life. Changed everything about my life.
Yeah.
Kev: Cool. Audrey, you, actually you just got baptized recently, didn't you? And how old are you now?
Audrey: I'm 14.
Kev: So were you baptized at 13 too? Same?
Audrey: Yes, I think
Kev: Same time, is it? Yeah. That's interesting, isn't it? Wonder if that's a coincidence. Any other, apart from your o- faith in Jesus, was there any other things that changed the course of your life?
Kirsten: I think I used to when I was younger I'm a very structured person and so I used to have my long-term plan of, "This is what I'm going to do." Yes,
Kev: you were.
Kirsten: Yeah. You were
Kev: very structured.
Kirsten: But I learnt early on to not worry about long-term plans because whenever I put a plan in place, God would then completely derail it with a different direction.
So when I was 17 or when I was at uni, I had an, I, basically the minute I got my driver's license, which was when I was 17 and four days, got my driver's license and then I started volunteering at the church. You did. Because that was just my heart to do that. And that definitely coming into that environment as well, getting opportunities to go and travel and be part of different conferences and serving people, and stuff like that's been great.
That was quite significant on my journey and- Yeah ... yeah. And then obviously, like Brad and I had a relationship for, took us a while to figure it out and just get married. And then that obviously changed my life as well, and then God called us down here to the coast, which was a place I said I would never want to live on the Gold Coast, and yet God called us here.
So I find that we often can have these plans for our lives and we're like, "This is what we gotta do. This is what we gotta do." But- Being able to take your hands off and say, "Lord, I'm open to you stepping in and redirecting my path. I'm just gonna keep going. I'm gonna keep following you, and this is the path I think, but if we go, Yeah
"the other path that's fine as well."
Kev: Yeah. I had the privilege of being Kirsten's youth pastor going right back-
Kirsten: Oh, sorry, and Kev being my youth pastor completely- ... changed my life. That's, obviously- now that- ... that is the most pivotal thing.
Kev: That's what you call brilliant sucking up right there.
Brilliant right there. Yeah, but I would agree with you that the thing that I watched you learn to do was to figure out that God is always in the interruptions. He's always in the interruptions, and if you structure yourself way too far, then you miss out on so much. So you finally married Brad. Do we have any photos of that, you getting married to Brad?
No photos? Oh. Oh,
Kirsten: oh, it's just my family. That was my family
Kev: photos. Oh, okay. So yeah. So no, no photos of Brad. We've got just one of the front. That's enough. Yeah. It's-
Kirsten: He's too distracting.
Kev: He's too distracting. So couple of rapid-fire questions before we go moving a bit further into legacy. What was your first, first paid job?
Kirsten: Brumbies.
Kev: Oh, you a Brumbies girl? Yeah.
Kirsten: I was a Brumbies girl for four weeks. I got that job on my own, then my parents made me quit 'cause they didn't wanna have to drive me to work.
Kev: Okay. What's your favorite color?
Kirsten: Blue.
Kev: Food?
Kirsten: Ooh, oh, lasagna.
Kev: Music style?
Kirsten: Everything.
Kev: You're pretty diverse, yeah.
Kirsten: Yeah.
Kev: TV show?
Kirsten: I don't know. We watch NCIS, hey, babe, so let's go with that.
Kev: What's your earliest childhood memory?
Kirsten: Oh, gosh.
I remember that I ran away from preschool. I managed to get out of the building.
Kev: Well done, you.
Kirsten: And my preschool was probably I don't know, five kilometers away from my house, and I probably walked a kilometer, crossed a four-lane major road, and then probably walked another kilometer before they picked me up.
I thought I was home, but I wasn't. Yeah. Obviously that
Kev: was be- That's
Kirsten: my, obviously that was quite pivotal. Yeah.
Kev: That was before Child Safe and- Yeah ... Workplace Health and Safety came into play. Yeah, that, that's good. Okay, here we go. Come on. Do you have any hidden talents that we don't know about?
Kirsten: No.
Kev: You can't juggle?
Kirsten: No.
Kev: No?
Kirsten: I ride horses. That's probably, but it's been a long time.
Kev: Yeah.
Kirsten: Yeah.
Kev: Horse riding, that's it, is it?
Kirsten: Yeah.
Kev: All right, and this is gonna really challenge you. Who did you write your first love letter to?
Kirsten: Jesus.
Kev: That's a safe answer, isn't it, right there? That's a safe one. You told me you wrote it to a guy called Ray.
Kirsten: Ray?
Kev: Did you say Ray?
Kirsten: No.
Kev: No? Ron?
Kirsten: I don't know any-
Kev: In the pre-interview I thought you said there was a little guy, you wrote it on a crayon
Kirsten: Oh. Oh, that was my preschool boyfriend, Ryan. Yeah
Kev: Oh, Ryan. Yeah I knew it was an R Yep.
Kirsten: Yeah
Kev: So it was a Ryan.
Kirsten: Yeah.
Kev: Wow.
Kirsten: Obviously I did a finger painting or something maybe for him.
Kev: That was... Okay. If you could be, if you could swap places and be anybody else in the world any time for a day-
...
Kev: Who would you wanna be for a day and why?
Kirsten: Bridget the dog. I think
Kev: that's- Bridget your dog?
Kirsten: Yeah. What a life. Who wants to be a dog? You just lie around, people give you food, they give you little massages.
How good of a life is that?
Kev: Apparently it's all right. Dog it is. Bridget it is.
Kirsten: Still get a back rub from my husband, yeah. It's great.
Kev: Oh,
Kirsten: boy,
Kev: oh, boy. So let's talk a little bit about future and legacy, that kind of stuff. You eventually made the move to the Gold Coast. You what have you learned down here about raising young girls in the home?
Young girls of faith on the Gold Coast, 'cause it's a fairly open kind of place.
Kirsten: Yeah. Look, we were very blessed, I think, to be part of this church family, and that we've had so many incredible role models speak into us. And when the girls were very little, we were part of the mother's group that Robin and Katie ran, and just the wisdom that they sowed into us was enormous because, like I said, I'm not a kid person, so parenting has been difficult.
And I didn't grow up in a Christian household, so I had no point of reference- It takes two ... for young, raising young kids in faith. So we were doing the best we could. Soz, it wasn't perfect. But but I just, the biggest thing is just, has been about positioning them to encounter the Holy Spirit, because that's what's going to change their lives, that's what's gonna change their eternity.
And I think that's been the huge thing for us, is just been praying and positioning them to meet God for themselves.
Kev: Okay. This might come as a revelation to you, it might come as a revelation, but younger people, when they get a bit older they figure out that Mom and Dad don't actually know everything.
In fact, they're fairly certain they know nothing. So how are you managing to maintain the communication between you and the girls as they're growing up in a structure and in an environment that is almost like m- telling you to go, "Don't listen to Mom and Dad." So how are you maintaining that connection?
Kirsten: So I would say w- being quite intentional about that. Audrey is quite a private person, particularly when she was younger. Margot was my affectionate, just wanna be with you all the time, Mummy. Whereas Orbs, I'd say, "Oh, how was school?" And it's just like crickets. So we're quite intentional about- Like, I knew going into her teenage years that I really wanted to develop that relationship, that communication.
So spending time reading together, doing devotions together, doing, using some of the RightNow Media stuff and just going through that. One of the big things that we decided when she turned 13 was that I wanted to do a trip with her, go somewhere. And-
Kev: Where'd you go?
Kirsten: We went to Korea. Audrey and I went to Korea together, which was amazing, for a week and a half there.
There's a photo up there. There's
Kev: a photo up there of Korea? Okay.
Kirsten: And that was really pivotal for us. It just worked for our family, but to really create that space where it was just the two of us and we could just talk, spend time together. We were d- we were working through 40 Days of Purpose.
Hey, we did that for the 10 days, or the seven days that we were there. We had seven days of purpose. You did 40 days in
Kev: seven.
Kirsten: Yep. But that, I felt like that was really pivotal for us in terms of just that closeness and that ability to communicate and talk, and gave us things that we could chat about that was just our thing.
"Oh, remember when we did that?" And things like that. And that has definitely been really good for our relationship.
Kev: So even having the breaks, you're being very intentional about having your holidays and things like, about what you're gonna discuss and things like that. So it's not just 'cause if you go say, "How you going?"
"Fine." "What do you want to eat?" "Don't know." So you obviously are doing something to foster that communication. So did you really do 40 Days of Purpose in 10 days?
Kirsten: No. We just did the first seven days.
Kev: I thought you- So we wanted to- I thought destruction was coming back ...
Kirsten: do something intentional so that we were really spending time together and with God, and it was, the whole purpose of the trip was to build relationship, but also to talk about what it means to be a young woman-
Kev: Okay
Kirsten: who follows Jesus- ... and what that looks like.
Kev: What was your highlight from the trip?
Audrey: The shopping.
Kev: Now the truth comes out. Oh, the
Audrey: snow. I've, I had never seen snow fall before, so it was really cool.
Kev: Oh, you saw snow fall?
Audrey: Yeah.
Kev: What snow?
Audrey: From the sky.
Kev: It's
Audrey: frozen water-
Kev: Frozen water ... that falls from the
Kirsten: sky.
Yeah.
Kev: So did you, was it, try and help other young people, because the other young people are thinking, "I don't wanna go on a holiday with my mom and dad." But how did they, what was the benefit to you for being on that part? How much do you learn things about your mom on the journey?
Audrey: I feel like she was the only person there to actually talk to, because everyone could, was speaking Korean.
Oh,
Kev: that's clever. That's clever. Put them in a country that don't speak your language. That's a great idea. Yeah. Write that one down. Someone needs to hear that. Yeah, it's great.
Audrey: And yeah. I just talked to her a lot more than I usually would, and it was just it was nice. I just had someone there to just talk to about stuff.
Kev: Cool.
Audrey: Yeah
Kev: It's obviously worked 'cause you're still here. That's great. So you set yourself a pretty big challenge as I understand it, and that's to do SOAP devotions for a whole year.
Audrey: Yes.
Kev: So what day are you up to?
Audrey: Day 130 is today.
Kev: Day 130, and you haven't missed one?
Audrey: I haven't missed one.
Kev: Okay. All right. That's interesting. Okay. So now for those of you who don't know what SOAP is, it's a Bible reading process that we use here to disciple. We don't want people discipled into the image of us as leaders. We want them to be discipled in the image of Christ. So we get them to read a portion of scripture and then what do you observe, how do you apply it to your life, and then how are you gonna be different?
So that's pretty huge to have that. What I wanted to ask you about that was, have you got one you could share with us?
Audrey: Yeah, I do. Wait.
Kev: Can you go back to Matthew 13?
Audrey: Yeah. Excuse me. On day 116, I journaled from Matthew 13, verse 21. It says, "But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the world, they quickly fall away."
So my observation was, God is saying here that you can have faith and love Jesus, but if you don't have a root grounded faith when trouble comes from this world, your faith just falls away easily. And so my application was, sometimes I feel like when troubles occur, I don't always look to Jesus first and my faith kind of slips away.
However, I wanna work on my root so then when hard things come my way, I'll be ready with God.
Anita: So good. Thank you for sharing, Audrey. He'll be back. Sorry everyone, momentary pause. But Audrey I'm excited that this is the moment Kev decided to have a coughing fit because I know a little bit about the story of you doing your SOAP devotions.
Can you tell us what changed in you this year or what no- things you've noticed about your walk with God or how you interact with friends, things like that, that are different because of your choice to do devotions every day?
Audrey: It's the first thing I do every morning. I wake up and then I do my devotions and I feel like it sets like the mood for the day.
You know how people say make your bed first thing in the morning and you just feel organized the whole day? It's the same thing with that. And I think I used to like kind of change when I was different around when I was around different people and I feel like- I wasn't always the best version of myself.
And I think when I'm with some some of my friends from school, I find myself being like, "Hey, that's not actually okay. That's not what the Bible has told me." And I'm like, yeah. I read the Bible sometimes and I'm like is God calling me out?" 'Cause there's some things in there and it's saying "Oh, don't do this, don't do this."
And I'm like-
Anita: You feel like it's
Audrey: directed
Anita: at
Audrey: you? I'm like, "Oh,
Anita: okay."
Audrey: Yeah. Yeah.
Anita: That's so cool. So the Holy Spirit's whispering to you with what you're reading?
Kirsten: Yeah.
Anita: Yeah. Oh, that's so good. And Kirsten, what change have, as a mum, have you noticed in Audrey this year?
Kirsten: Definitely it's very cool because God's saying things so I don't have to say them.
So that's, it's really nice when the Holy Spirit's discipling your kids for you. And I think a big thing has been when things happen, Audrey's a 14-year-old girl she's still a 14-year-old girl but she's following Jesus. But, we all keep, we all make mistakes constantly. So I think the whole thing that she'll often come back and say, "I'm so sorry I did that.
I'm so sorry I said that. I wanna be different." And she's, that's not something that I'm having to drive. The Holy Spirit is doing that in herself. I also know even with her friends she's come home and you were telling me this story the other day that her friend was that they were being mean to another kid and her friend's "Oh, we shouldn't do that," or, "We shouldn't judge," or whatever.
And then she's going to Audrey, "No, you've virused me. I'm becoming like you." Because she's speaking that positivity and truth into her friends and just, yeah, her strength to be able to stand. And the ma- I'd say probably 50% of her k- her friends aren't Christians or are still, they're from Christian families, but they're on their journey of faith as well.
And so she's, yeah, I've been super proud of the way that she's standing strong in what she believes and who God's calling her to be rather than being influenced by those around her.
Anita: Yeah. Yeah. So good. And I know Megs and the youth team really champion SOAP devotions at our youth on a Friday night, so they get to sit together.
Friday night just gone they sat at tables in this room and all shared and learnt from the scripture together. So it is an amazing way to grow in your relationship with God as well. And so well done, Audrey, 'cause I think it's hard as a teenager. Just this week at school actually, I was chatting with another one of the teachers and we both said we would not wanna be teens today in the world that you're growing up in.
It is a really hard environment to be growing up in, and especially as a Jesus follower taking that stand and, making those choices. So good job. So good. I don't know if I should move on or if Kev's gonna keep going. All right. So how does your ... So doing your devotions, how does that tie back to your decision to be baptized?
Audrey: When I got baptized I think it was right after youth camp, I was like, "Oh my gosh, I wanna get baptized." And it was, like, in the middle of winter, and it was freezing. But yeah, that was pretty cool. But I didn't really do SOAP devotions a lot after I got baptized. I think I took a good three, four months, and I think it was at the end of December and I was like, "Oh, yeah, I'll r- I'm doing my goals.
I'll do, oh, sure, let's read the Bible in a year," and stuff like that. And then I started on the first four days, and then I just kept going and going. And I feel like it's really helped me 'cause when I wanted to- when I was getting baptized, I really wanted to progress, and I feel like that was a big thing.
The SOAP devotions have really helped me progress in my faith.
Anita: So good. So it was a next step of obedience for you. Kirsten, when you were 14, the world looked really different. We just talked about how hard it is to be a teen today. If you could sit down with your 14-year-old self and say something to her, what would it be?
Kirsten: Oh, look, I think just that God's got this, and it'll be okay.
He does actually have a great plan for you and for your life. And if you just continue to walk with Him, it'll be okay.
Anita: Yeah.
Kirsten: It'll work out. Yeah.
Anita: And what ... Do you have a life verse or a scripture, you've talked a lot about your Bible this morning, that has set your path?
Kirsten: So my key scripture that I love is Isaiah 60:1. It says, "Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you." And that's my key. Let's rise, let's shine- ... in whatever circumstances we're in, because God is with us.
Anita: Yeah. That's so good. And have you found that you've taught that truth to your girls as well?
Kirsten: Ooh. I do- I don't know that I've used that specific scripture a whole lot. I think they're different people, and there's been different verses that have been more pertinent-
Anita: Yeah ...
Kirsten: for their lives. But so I'd say to an extent.
Anita: Yeah. Yeah. No, that's good. So Audrey's going to be 18 in just four years, and Margot will be 16.
When they eventually head out into the world and forge their own way in their own lives, what's one internal compass of value or that you hope that they take from your home, you and Brad hope that they take with them?
Kirsten: Yeah. I would just say pretty much the same thing, just staying close to God, making, prioritizing growing your relationship with God because that is what is going to be that firm foundation and see you through whatever life, whatever challenges come.
And the world is a challenging place, and the future Can be scary when you're looking at all the changes that are happening and everything. But God doesn't change. He stays the same through it all. And if you build your life on that foundation, you look through history, there's been horrendous times through history, and yet God's followers have been able to stand firm through those really difficult times.
Anita: Yeah. Yeah. No, that's so good. And I think probably every mom or spiritual mom in the room would have a similar hope for their own kids. I know I often remember that Ruth shared a message years ago where she talked about God is always with me, like the five fingers, and I've taught that to my own kids, and yeah, you hope that they carry that with them throughout, whatever life brings at them.
So do you have any final words for moms, physical or spiritual, in the room today? Oh.
Kirsten: I don't think I'm the best person to be giving advice, but I think the main thing, and we talk about this all the time, is just the importance of prayer and to just be re- really just talking about your faith in your household, doing devotions together, reading the Bible together, talking about what God's talking to you about, praying with them, when they've got challenges, or thanking God for good things.
But really bringing God to the forefront of everything in your house, that this is normal because we're doing life with the Holy Spirit every single day, and He's part of our family. So I think that's the main thing. And yeah.
Anita: So good. Audrey I haven't prepared you for this question, so it's fine if you don't wanna answer, but do you have a life verse or something that God's whispered to you that you is special to you?
Audrey: I actually do. I've had this one, I don't know how long, but I've just always remembered it. It's Isaiah 41:10, "Don't be scared because I'm with you," says God. I feel like I've just always remembered it. I remember, sorry, there's a story behind it. Like grade two assembly, I think Mrs. Flowers, she was like saying this "Don't be scared because I'm with you," says God, and I just always remembered that.
That's so good. Like my whole life.
Anita: Yeah. Oh, that's so good. Another great example of a teacher who spoke into your heart and you, yeah. Anything done with a sing-song voice is memorable, right? Yeah. Sing-song everything, people, 'cause we remember it when we're adults, the sing-song. Yeah, that's so good. I love that.
So if there was a song that, this was in the original questioning, if there was an anthem for your life, what would that... So if you had to pick one song that captures the spirit of your journey, an anthem for your life as a wife, as a mum, as a person, what would it be?
Kirsten: When I was talking to Kev, and he said what's your song?
What's your anthem?" And I'm like, "It's the end of the world as we know it." "And I feel fine." I have a lot of positivity, so I feel like- ... it's all good. But there, wh- when I really think about like more of a worship song, the song that has been stuck in my heart is That Goodness of God. Yeah. "All my life you have been faithful.
All my life you have been so good. With every breath that I am able, I will sing of the goodness of God." And that is, I just think that is the testimony of my life, So good ... is God's goodness. Yeah.
Anita: Yeah.
Kirsten: Yeah.
Anita: That's so good. Can you sing? I think Kev was gonna make you do this. You were like, "I'm not singing."
Kirsten: I think the team might come up and we might-
Anita: They will soon ... sing that bit. We're gonna sing it together, but can you just sing us the chorus of it? Okay. I could.
Kirsten: All my life you have been faithful. And all my life you have been so good. With every breath that I am able, I will sing of the goodness of God.
Amen.
Anita: So beautiful. Thank you. Thank you for singing. I think that the truth of the words of that song really sum up- Everything that you've shared today. We-- when I or Kev asked, said, "Let's ask Kirsten and Audrey," 'cause we know-knew about Audrey's story of her soap devotions and that sort of impact.
And I knew Kirsten would not... I actually thought you'd say no. "She's gonna say no, Kev. She won't wanna share." And I think I emailed you, and it was really fast, and you just went yep." And I said to Kev, "I don't think she actually realizes what she said yes to." And then a week later, Kirsten said-
Kirsten: I read the
Anita: email
"I just read the email you sent me. I can't believe I said yes to that." I'm like, "Yes." And I said to her, "It's too late to say no now." So that's how it played out in the lead-in to this start of our series. And I think that there was something of God in that because Kirsten actually said...
And Kev did a pre-interview with her to chat through some of the story. And Kirsten shared in that "I'm the least qualified person to talk about motherhood or parenting," or she just didn't feel like she should be the one sitting here. And I said to her, "But we all feel like that." Does anyone in the room who's parented or mentored or anything feel like you should be doing that job?
I don't know. I feel as a mom and as women in general, we all feel like that, that, "I'm the least qualified person to be giving that advice." But I wanna encourage all of you today, in the same way that Kirsten has stepped out and Audrey has stepped out to be on a microphone to share their story, that you have something of value that you can input into the next generation or even someone alongside you on the journey.
And you do have voice, and you have story, and you have things that will help someone if you're willing to be vulnerable and share some of those stories and just connect with the people around you. I think when we connect back to who God is and the story of God we can be able to share parts of that in our story when we're talking to others.
And if you're here today and it's your first time in this setting, in a church building and you don't know Jesus, we would love to talk with you about the Jesus that Kirsten and Audrey have shared about today that have made an impact in their own lives and how the story of God can really change who you are and what you understand about yourself and your self-worth and value as well.
So- Kirsten, I think you're a brilliant mum. Ah. And people are, like, who know you agree. You're a great person to be sharing. You have two beautiful girls, and I think the fact that we can say that I'm here and I'm teachable, I want to learn, I wanna gather what do you know, and please tell me what you know about this I think that there's strength in that, and there's strength in community.
So what the value of a place like this, The Junction, where we gather together on a Sunday to encourage each other and pour courage into each other in the season of life that we're in, we can all gain something from that connection. I think you've modeled how to love God and how to love your family and have connection with others as well.
Sorry, I'm on the fly following Kev's notes, so I'm just going... I was like, "Where were we up to?" I wondered this morning if either of you would like to pray for the mums in the room. That would be amazing. And then we're going to- Did Audrey say no?
Kirsten: Nope.
Anita: Over to you. Mum or dad. Love that. Audrey, you've done so well sitting here.
Kev was like- Thank you ... "Should we get Audrey up and down?" Yeah, please. It's an intimidating thing to be on here with everyone looking. And yeah, so if Kirsten, you could pray for us, and the team is going to lead us in that song that Kirsten sang a moment ago. And then Kev will come back and just do a little wrap-up maybe after that song if he's got enough voice to do it.
But thank you yeah, please pray for us.
Kirsten: Mighty God, I just thank you, Lord, that you are so faithful to us, Lord. Thank you that you walk with us through the difficult times. And like I know that on my parenting journey, there have been times where, Lord, I have just been clinging onto you because it was so hard, but you have faithfully carried me through those times, Lord.
And I thank you for the incredible blessing of my children, and I know for all of us who are spiritual and natural parents, Lord, I know that we are so grateful for these beautiful gifts that you have given to us, that we get to be part of their lives, that we get to watch them grow, that we get to invest in them.
And and just, I think, catch a glimpse of your heart for us, Lord, because we're your children and you love us. You love watching us grow. You love watching us thrive. You love watching us struggle through things so we can develop, Lord, and you love having relationship with us. And we are so grateful for those gifts that you have given us, Lord.
I pray for every mother in this room and online, Jesus, that you would encourage them letting them know that they're not alone, Lord, letting them know that you love their kids and you know their kids even better than they do themselves. And our prayer is that you would bless them, encourage them strengthen them, give them fill them freshly with your Holy Spirit, Lord.
We need the fruit of the Spirit because we can't do it in our own strength, Lord. I just thank you for that. Thank you, Lord. Thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for your love for us, and thank you that we are just one big family with you, our Heavenly Father, and we are just loving you and doing life with you every day.
Thank you, Jesus. Amen.
Anita: Amen. Thank you. Thanks so much, guys. Can you give these guys a hand?