How to be an Authentic Woman

TRANSCRIPT

 Here we are entering womanhood and they asked me to do it. She who makes up words mispronounces words. It's going to be a fun morning but here we go. Come on, Tom. We got this, right? All right. Are we ready? Everyone good? All right. I wanted to just say before we delve into this topic, I want to state that it's actually relevant to everybody.

So men don't tune out. I promise you that you will get something out of this too and I'd really love your feedback at the end as to what you thought. So if you have been in church circles for some time, ladies, you no doubt will have heard about the Proverbs 31 virtuous woman Yes, Tom, isn't that right?

amazing Well, do you know what you're gonna be so inspired today because I just thought you know, that's so predictive. We're just going to take a different route this morning. There we go. So all the elbows went down. Oh good. So here we go. First of all, I just want to acknowledge that the journey to womanhood can be filled with really unique challenges.

Women often face societal expectations, family presses. career aspirations and personal struggles. There is so much pressure on women to have it all and be all, all things to all people. And so many layers are expected of us depending on what stage of the journey that we're at at a particular time. So where do we start?

Well, practically speaking, I guess for a woman, it's at the very beginning of a day. And we need to get dressed for success. Ladies, it's a daily challenge, right? What am I going to wear today? I've got nothing to wear. The fact is, ladies, that we do have to get dressed for success. And some of you just sang that, didn't you?

You can thank Roxette for that, I know. You never really fully know what a day holds. And Jesus himself said, in this world, you will have trouble. Okay, so it's a fact. It's just going to happen. So that means, ladies, that we're going to be fighting some battles. More often than not, we are on a battleship, and unfortunately not always on a cruise liner.

I know, but it's reality, right? Many of us Both of those vessels, might I just say, are designed to float. But their purpose is very different at different stages. So every day, ladies, we need to put our armour on. Do you all remember that classic movie, Gladiator? Remember that? Remember Russell Crowe in that?

It was like such an inspiring movie. He had no problem putting his armour on, because he didn't wonder what it was, he was very familiar with it. It was second nature to him. He knew what the purpose of it was, and he knew the importance of it, and he didn't muck around. And ladies, I want to say the same thing goes for us, when life's battles come at us.

It's not time to go into denial. and hit up the girlfriends and hit the town and it's just all gonna go away. It's not that time. It's time just to dig in and get our gear on for the battle of life. It's what we need to do each and every day. And you thought that the Bible had little to speak about fashion sense.

So a quick recap in case you're like, what? We want to unpack our first slide this morning which is in Ephesians 6 11 and it's from the Amplified Version because it has a lot more words than the other version and it says, put on God's whole armor that you may be able to successfully stand up against all the strategies and the deceits of the devil.

Now just a little disclaimer here. When I was preparing for this message, I spent a lot of time just vacillating. Do I unpack this part of Scripture in its entirety? Do we just gloss over it? And I decided that we'd unpack it in its entirety a little bit, but I missed the deadline to get the slides in.

So if you've got your Bible there, it's in Ephesians 6. 11, or if you want to get out your phone and it's on YouVersion. and you can just track along there, but Ephesians 6, 11 is where we begin. So let me ask you a question, everyone. Would you ever leave your house half dressed? Well, I hope the answer is no.

I hope it's a definitive no across the room, otherwise there's another message that we might need to address there. Of course you wouldn't. However, many of us actually forget to put on our spiritual clothing. And if you carry on with Ephesians here, this is what it goes on about the armor of God. It says, stand firm, then with the belt of truth buckled around your waist.

Truth holds things in place for us. And how do we know the truth? We read it every single day in our soap devotions. Then the breastplate of righteousness. Have you got one of those in your cupboard? Girls? You're gonna need one. No, it's more than a bra, Jackie, I can tell you. It needs to protect the whole thing.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. It's so much more. Ha, it was going to be a fun morning. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. It protects the most tender part of our bodies. It's our hearts. And it's a little bit like a bulletproof vest. I can tell you. Because the enemy will often come to attack our heart. Because our heart is where the seat of our emotions lie.

It's where our self worth lies, and it's where our trust emulates and forms from. So guard your heart. And then we need to put shoes with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. Now the shoes back in the day, with the Roman soldiers war, were like serious golf shoes. with big spikes on them.

And the golfers in the room are like mm hmm you've got my attention speak on girl. So they provided balance for walking over all different forms of terrain. Well do you know Pastor Sim had a toolbox so I thought it was only fitting that I bring my toolbox. It's a little bit more spiffy. And I present to you

our first prop. I thank God for the invention of this shoe, the stiletto, those shoes. Now, you'll notice that it's sharp at both ends, right? We need to be on the offense and the defense of life. We need to be able to karate kick forward and back. Possibilities are forming. I'll just sit this little beauty over here.

You can just marvel at it.

So girls, don't let the men in your life tell you that you can have too many pairs of these. Because just a side note, my husband did when we just got married. We had a little one bedroom flat and it didn't have a cupboard in it. And I'm like, what am I going to do with the shoes? So I laid them out across the room.

This disturbed him greatly because he counted them and he's like, 1, How can you have 23 pairs of shoes and you have one pair of feet? I said, I need them for all occasions. And then he made me choose to keep five and give the rest away. Huh.

Seriously. We should have had a Slido for this very moment, shouldn't we? Yeah. But we will get, I do, I digress, I digress. Anyway, I let's just say I might have that much more brought back over the years. Alright, in addition to this we need to take up the shield of faith. That you can extinguish, extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

Every day the forces of darkness wage war against you and I and it's important that we're protected. With the spiritual protection and authority you can stand against all the evil forces. Now during combat the enemy would launch a barrage of arrows that were wrapped in cloth and soaked in pitch and then set on fire and fired.

And these could cause some serious damage. You and I have a serious spiritual enemy, people. And he continues to this day to fire his fiery darts at us. And I just wondered, what might he be firing at you lately? Is he firing fear? Is he firing doubt? Is he firing sickness? Is he firing disappointment? You see, firing hopelessness.

You insert whatever it is that he might be firing because the darts are real and we need to be on the o fence. for this. The only way you can extinguish these arrows is with the shield of faith. Then we take the helmet of salvation, the helmets designed to guard our minds. Our minds really above all needs to be protected.

Do you know that most battles begin and finish in the mind? So true, isn't it? It's a very, very powerful force to be reckoned with. Make sure your helmet's on, girls, each and every day. And finally, the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. And I'm gonna unpack that a little bit later. Every day, without fail, we just need to be making sure that we are dressed for success.

Because, girls, seriously, our life just might depend on it. Amen. As you put your clothes on each day. Also make sure that you're putting your armour on and pick up your sword. For example, when we're called to walk in peace, that's equivalent to putting on our shoes, which it says in Ephesians, the shoes of peace.

And walking in righteousness is equivalent to putting on your breastplate of righteousness, which protects your heart, which is really critical. And the thing is that God supplies this armour to each and every one of us. But it's up to us to make the choice to put it on. We can have the armour sitting in the cupboard, sitting on the stand, but we have to be proactive and make the choice to put it on ourselves.

Ephesians 6 verse

12 teaches us that our battle is not just with our emotions but it's with the spiritual forces that play havoc on our emotions. There's a very distinct difference there. It's really important that we realize we can't fight the darkness. with darkness and the best way Jesus followers can combat the darkness is to put on our armor and yield ourselves to the power and the presence of the Holy Spirit that resides within us.

Now my next point is that as women we are not designed to do life alone. We're not We just can't solve the problems on our own. We don't have all the answers. And that's why God created an incredible force to be reckoned with. The girlfriends. We really need each other. And men, I'm sorry that we're such a great mystery to you in this area, but it's really important that we have each other.

Our next slide comes from Proverbs 31 verse 26 and it says she speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction. is on her tongue. And girls, when we gather together and share together, it's a really powerful and important time. Maybe you've overcome some tremendous obstacles on your journey through life.

There are women out there who need to know how you did it. Perhaps handedly raised your children to be responsible adults. I can guarantee you that there's a woman in your circle that knows how you did that. Perhaps you've overcome tremendous marital obstacles. You've managed to stay married to that man and still love him.

Some of us need to know how you did that. Or maybe you have lived through tremendous abuse and you have found the path of healing. I can guarantee you that there's a woman out there that might still be trapped in that and needs your assistance and help. And just a side note to that, If you are struggling in an abusive relationship, you need to seek help.

God does not expect us to be a doormat and there are avenues of help there. So I don't want to be, I just don't want to skim over that. It's a very real thing. Perhaps you've overcome serious debt, and maybe you could give someone a few pointers on just how to get out of that. Ladies, your past can help someone else have a future, but only if you're willing to invest in relationships.

There's someone out there that can give you hope in what you're going through, but only if you take the courage to reach out. The friendships we build should be an ever increasing circle. We need to keep our hearts and our minds open. And accepting of friends who are different from us. Find the value of making friends who are from a different generation.

I've made this a priority in my life over the years and my life is so much more richer And I'm so much more blessed because of it. We can learn so much from those that are both older and younger than us Find someone that's already climbed the mountain that you want to scale and let her open your eyes to new possibilities Or find a younger woman who's struggling with a giant in her life that you've already slayed Come alongside her and show her how it's done Girls, we are a powerful force when we come together.

Psalm 145 verse 4 says this, One generation shall lord your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts. Another version of this is generation after generation stands in awe of your work. Each one tells stories of your mighty acts. So what I want to do right now is I want to play a short but a bit of fun clip.

And ladies, in particular, let me ask you a question out of it. How often are you confronted with this in your everyday world? So if we can just play that clip.

Ha ha.

Dad camera, put it down. You cannot take a picture with the top of your head. Dad, that's not helping. Can you smell that? Can you not wait five minutes?

Oh hey, if you're gonna want that. Love you.

Alright, take the picture there. Look as pitiful as you can. Mom, this is, this is embarrassing. Take the shot. This is embarrassing. In the picture, just do it. Don't worry about that. It is hot. Babe, wait.

We want pizza. We're not having pizza. I'll get you ice cream if you want. It's not a matter of it. Well you don't even know. It looks like it didn't taste bad. Well it does look good. I'll let Queen in the house know. Thank you Kayla. Well we want pizza. Well we're not having pizza. We get pizza. Can

anyone relate? My favourite part of that is...

But seriously, it's not just the ladies that are guilty of this. It's it's just so crazy that It's, look, it's just more crazy than what you think. Everything that you see on the socials, most of it is pre fabricated and simply not true. But yet, for women in particular, it seems to be a measuring stick that we use.

You know, that Sally Jones, my goodness me. Everything is false and fake. And we just need to stop it. Which just leads me to my next prop.

It's a very big toolkit. There's lots of stuff in here. It's just like, you can never find anything in your toolkit sometimes, can you?

We just need to stop it. Just stop comparing yourself. The compact mirror, sorry Tom. It's all good? Okay. Any more laughing? It's coming your way.

As women, walking with Jesus, we need to know who, whose we are and who we are. We are made in His image. And every time we look in the mirror, we remind ourselves of this important fact. We are loved beyond measure. We are beautiful. We are unique. We are chosen and we are set apart for a divine purpose. And some of you need to hear that with fresh ears this morning.

Psalm 139 14 states this, I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. God has created billions of human beings throughout history. And do you know what? Not one. single person was mass produced. Everyone was produced uniquely and profoundly, even with different fingertips. It's just profound.

God just loves you. Women remain an integral and precious part of the ministry of Jesus when he walked the earth. He greatly loved and greatly valued women. Ladies, hear this loud and clear this morning as Jesus followers society does not determine your wealth or your purpose or your value. You are his stunning creation and you matter to him regardless of your position in life.

Just think of the Samaritan woman at the well in John chapter 4. She must have thought Jesus was out of his mind when he stopped at midday to talk to her. He was Jewish, she was not. She chose to draw her water from the well at midday to escape the ones that labelled her as an outcast. Jewish people didn't Samara, didn't associate with Samaritans but yet here's Jesus and he is.

He saw beyond the labels that society had placed on her and he took it one step further revealing himself to her. that he was the son of God. That changed her life and because of her testimony impacted the lives of countless Samaritans around her. You were created for an amazing purpose. Whether you're climbing the corporate ladder or living in the beautiful world of babyland, you are here for a reason ladies.

God has a plan for you that can have far reaching implications for the kingdom. If you're gutsy enough to join and take hold of his invitation. It's, it really is up to us. Just think of teenage Mary who put her fears aside and trusted God that when she was told that she would birth the Saviour. The scandal, I still can't even wrap my head around that today.

Or Mary Magdalene who was healed of demon possession and spent her life praising Jesus because of it. She stayed by Jesus side right through his crucifixion and death and returned. to anoint his body that very first Easter Sunday morning when he was risen. And then it was to her, and her alone, that he first appeared after the resurrection.

Not Peter, James and John, it was Mary. And she got to spread the word. What an incredible honour that was. And you might say, well yeah, that's okay. For them, I've really messed up. Well you know what? Jesus has got grace for that too. Think about the woman who was brought to the temple accused of adultery in John 8 verses 10 to 11.

The religious leaders there had a huge circle around her and demanded that she be stoned to death. Jesus immediately eliminated the threat and used the moment to point out the sin in every person's heart. And he said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone. And one by one they dropped their stones and the crowd dispersed.

Until there was only just the woman and Jesus left. Can you imagine that? And he asks her, Woman, where are your accusers? And she lifts her head and looks around and she said, they're gone, and he said, neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more. How incredibly liberating would that must have been. Jesus has so much time for our relentless prayer requests too.

In 1st it simply tells us, pray continually. One thing I've learned is that you can't wear Jesus name out asking what our requests are. Remember the woman with the issue of blood and the interruption that seemingly caused the death of Jairus's daughter. Jesus was en route to Jairus's place. When he felt the power go out of him this brave woman had the audacity just to clutch at the hem of his garment and he stopped everything and wanted to know who touched me and she came quivering saying it was me and she was immediately healed.

He took time to notice her and set her free from that physical affliction of over 12 years. I could go on and on and on about the value that Jesus places on women. We are highly valued and highly favoured ladies in his eyes. Which leads me to my next prop.

This is it. Insert the pom poms. Our role as Kingdom Women is to encourage, to inspire, and to cheer on and model life for the next generation girls. They are looking for women who live life and live life well. I can't just tell them what they need to do. I need to show them and I need to model it for them.

No pressure here, lovelies. This is it. So remember your pom poms. Now, I just want to speak, if I can, to the whole bestie concept. Because I think it's important.

Many times, as children, as girls growing up, we get very possessive of our friends. And we don't really want our friends to have any other friends because they're our friends. They're our besties and we get little necklaces with little hearts and we break it in half. And this is your half and this is my half.

And no more will come into our little circle. I know you're laughing, but it's true, right? But listen, we can often feel abandoned and hurt when we see how little Bestie develops a friendship with another little Bestie. I work at a local Christian college. in the middle learning space with years five to eight and I see this play out up close and personal day in and day out.

Often I'm the first port of call dealing with the fallout and sometimes it gets ugly. There are tears and snot abounding and emotions and tantrums and it's the emotions are very big and the emotions are very real, let me tell you. But ladies, when we grow up into womanhood we can't be like this. We need to grow up in this area.

Possessiveness, a deal for exclusivity, and a view of other people as a threat to the friendship are all signs of an inappropriate dependence on each other. A bit harsh you say, Anne? Yeah, but true. The best thing that you could wish for your girlfriend is that she in turn would have lots of friends contributing to her life and cheer her on.

Cheer her on that she's going to reach her full potential. What I've learned over the years of life is that friendship is like a whole lot of puzzle pieces and some of the puzzle comes and some of the pieces come and some of the pieces go but at the end of it when you look. back, there's a beautiful montage of life, of people that you have encountered.

And it just creates a beautiful masterpiece. And it's a great reminder of what our journey with Jesus is. So I would encourage you ladies to find your tribe, find your tribe and position yourself with girls who are going to cheer you on, are going to love you for exactly who you are, but love you enough to also not let you remain where you are.

Girls that won't gossip about you behind your back, but girls that will pray about you behind your back. Find your tribe and love them hard. And then our final bag prop for the morning is this. Similar past assignments. The Word of God. The Word of God, the one last VIP. Saturate yourself in the Word of God.

It's not an optional extra for our faith. We need to get to the point where we really can't live without it literally. When we feed ourselves on the Word each and every day, the Word literally takes residence inside us.

So when we come to each new morning, the wellspring that we draw upon is fresh, is clean, is sparkling glacier blue water. That's what we get to drink upon and that's what we get to offer others to drink from. And who's going to knock that back on a scorching hot day? But in contrast, if all we have to draw upon is stagnant, murky, feral water that has mozzies taking residence in it, infested with all sorts of bacteria because it's been left unattended for so long.

Well that's exactly what we do to ourselves if we're not drawing upon the well daily. When we don't do our devotions on a daily basis or possibly weeks go by or maybe even months and all we've got is this stagnant murky water. The wellspring is not healthy and not only do we end up poisoning ourselves Because this is all we've got to draw upon, but we end up positioning those around us because all we're offering them to drink is this, and they end up being poisoned too.

So my question this morning is this, ladies. Now you get to decide what type of woman you want to become. And do you know what? What do you want your family to look like? What do you want your family to feel like in the future? And you know what? The best time to decide these things are when you're a young girl growing up and you make positive choices each and every day to step to that.

So that eventually when you do come into a relationship, you're healthy, you're whole, and you're complete. And you're bringing your best 100 percent to that beautiful equation. Because you're whole. and you're secure and you're loved and you're valued and you're highly favoured and you know whose you are and you know whom you are.

Imagine if every child entered into a mature adulthood. Imagine if every man entered into the journey of being an authentic man and every woman entered the journey to be an authentic woman.

That way they would be able to love God and love other people as well. It could really transform our city. and it could transform our nation. And that's our prayer. I wondered if you'd pray with me this morning. Heavenly Dad, I pray that your girls will be so secure in their identity that they know who they are and whose they are and who they belong to.

If they're unsure or they have questions, I pray there's an army of women assembled already that they can show the way and remind them who they are. May we have the courage and the conviction to stand counterculture in the area as a result that we will be able to be a shining light in an ever cri, ever increasing darkening world.

Jesus, we need your help in this area to make a difference, and we know that we can with your help. We thank you in Jesus' name. Amen.