How to be the Real Man

TRANSCRIPT

A lot of you know that I come from a big family. I'm I'm the youngest of eight kids, and I I've got, I've got so many great memories about my dad and so many great stories. My dad's 94 and he's charging on. And there's so many good stories about my dad. One particular one is the way he he named.

All of us kids, all the different influence he had in the names of our kids. And one particular is my sis, my eldest sister, Laura, my, the eldest in our family when mum and dad were expecting their first child, they they went to the movies or the picture house, they called it back then. And they saw, I know he is 94.

They, they the man at the piano like wasn't that bad, but they If they saw the movie Geronimo, you know, the Cowboy and Indian movie, and the Indian Geronimo, and Dad said, I love that name, Geronimo. I love it. I think we need to name our child Geronimo. And mom was like, well, hang on, hang on. Like what if it's a girl?

Because back then there was no technology to see if you were having a pink one or a blue one. It was just, you just had to wait and woo-hoo. Surprise. And so, They, so, so they just, mom didn't think anything of it. And then so they mom went into labor and they went to the hospital, and they're back in those days as well.

The, the, the dad, the father didn't have any business in the birthing room. There was, he didn't go in there. He sat out in the waiting room and just waited for the nurse to come out. That was the deal. That's what happened. So it was all going on in there, but also the father's job. Was to go to the office, the registry office at downstairs or wherever it was, and they had to fill out all the official paperwork, including the birth certificate, that was the official child's name.

And so the nurse came out and said, it's a girl. And dad's like, what? So he went in, oh, wonderful, wonderful. And he said, oh, I'm just gonna pop down to the office to fill out the paperwork. And mom was like holding our, their little daughter going, don't. Even, don't you even like, so dad went down, filled the paperwork out, he came back with a big smile on his face and he handed the paperwork to mum.

So she grabbed it and she's looking through it. Got to the birth certificate, child's name, Laura. Oh yes. The relief Laura. It's a beautiful name, and she moves down to middle name Beel, and she's looking at going, Beel, what? What is that? What is this? She had no idea. What is this? Is this a spelling mistake, Vic?

And then she's looking at it and she looks at dad. Dad's got a big smile on his face and she's looking at it, and then she works it out. My dad had three best friends, Ben Allen, and Victor, and he had named, given the middle name of his daughter after his three best friends, Ben Vic. True story. That is my sister's middle name, Bennel Vic.

And so. Some, some advice. If you are thinking of having kids or you're thinking about baby names and you wanna try that method with your three best friends, write down every possible scenario. 'cause it could get nastier. I can see you like one. No, it's not gonna work. So happy Father's Day. Dads we are in.

We are in our series called Enter, where we are looking at entering into different circumstances or situations or stages in life. And we're entering into those situations, whether it be by choice or by consequence, but we've discovered, we've discovered along the way that God has given us. And you, you heard all the speakers talk about this.

God has given us some divine mentors. Along our path, down through history, divine mentors that have written out advice and instructions, and it's written in the Bible, in scripture. And he's given us these divine mentors that have given us some guidance, given us some, some things that we can attain to and look forward to.

And so this morning, We are going to look at entering into manhood. Now, I'm, it's, it's Father's Day. We'll connect the two together. So we're gonna talk to the men today. We're gonna enter into manhood. Now you might be young or old. You might be single or married. You might be a natural dad or you might be a spiritual dad.

But it is time, I believe, for us to, to man up. And to enter into manhood and enter into the take on the purpose that God has planned and destined you for. And now ladies, this is not a chance for you to switch off. Okay? This is for you as well. Yeah. Get a nod off there, won't you? This is great. Yeah. This is not a chance to switch off because you might be single and you might be looking for a man.

And we're gonna look at some qualities and characteristics of what God wants a man to be. And these are qualities and characteristics that you can look for in your future husband. And if you're a mom who's raising boys, you've got sons. This is, these characteristics are ones that you can encourage your sons to attain to, to, to, to seek after and try and be.

These are the qualities. 'cause you know, we don't have to look very hard. To see in this world that in society there is a good chunk of the male population who have dropped the ball, they've missed the mark. We see it. You see it everywhere. You see domestic violence and road rage and bullying. You see fatherless homes that, that are leading to youth crime, which is just outta control and has gone crazy.

You don't have to look very far and you know, it's not all their fault. We've gotta realize that it's not all their fault. I mean, sure there are ones that have been disobedient and just dumb and they, they brought that on themselves, but there's a lot of them that just don't know any better. I. They just don't, maybe their father or the male figure in their life growing up just never showed them how to be a better man.

And so they just don't know. And so they can't respond. They can't reciprocate, and so they go in this vicious circle that just goes around and around. But the exciting news, the good news is, is it can change. It can actually change with the click of a finger. It can change if we choose to allow God to change you or to change us as men.

And God has given us some guidance. He's given us some, some things to attain to, some things to look to through these divine mentors that are down through history and written out in scripture. And I've got something a little bit different this morning. I've put together a little toolkit. Woo. Look at that little tool.

Mans a toolbox. You're gonna love a toolbox. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even if it's got two C batteries and a hammer, that's all it is. It's, it's not much, but it's not much. But I believe it can be very effective. So we've got a bit of an object lesson today. Now, one of the mentors that God has given us down in scripture is a guy by the name of Paul, the Apostle Paul.

And he has he's got a young protege called Timothy, and he writes, look, back then, obviously they wrote letters. They wrote letters in correspondence and talking and giving direction and guidance. And so he writes a letter to his young protege, Timothy, because he'd heard about some disturbing things that were going on in the, in the church in Ephesus.

And a lot of it was relating to what the men were getting up to and what the men were doing, and the men that weren't stepping up to the mark. And so this highlights me the first item in my toolbox, it's one of these, it's a high vis vest. And you know what? I'm even gonna put it on. Yeah, put it on you.

Look at this. I can't even get it on properly.

Okay, hit the music. No, no, don't, don't do that. Y M C, high vis, okay. High vis vest. Now you need one of these. You need one of these for safety. You need one of these to show people the way. To give directions. You need one of these. You see one of these on a job site or walking across the crossing, you go, oh, I've gotta follow that person.

They're, they're wearing high vis, gets away with a lot of things at high vis. So you need one of these for directions. So we're gonna just take a look at one of the letters that, that Paul wrote to his protege, Timothy, if we're reading the book of First Timothy chapter two, we'll pop it up here and it says, therefore, I want the men everywhere.

To pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing. I want the men everywhere to pray. Lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing. So Paul is pointing out that men are to be the spiritual leaders. Men are to put on the spiritual hyves and be the spiritual leaders lead the way in worship and in prayer.

Give direction, show people how it's done, and you be the spiritual leaders in any environment that you are in. Okay? Not just here at church on a Sunday or when you're in your village group. You be a spiritual leader in every environment, whether it be at work, at home, with your family, at your local club, you be the spiritual leader.

And you, and you, you take on and accept that responsibility without getting angry, without complaining, and without trying to get out of it. You just get on and lead the way. That's what God has called men to be. And, you know, so Paul is writing that letter and he's giving instruction for these men. And he continues, he continues on, and he in the book of Titus.

He writes about the older men who, who? He's an older man. No one wants to put their hand up him. Fair enough. Where is the line between young and older? I don't know. Teach it says, okay, so the book of Titus chapter two, it says Teach the older men. To be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled and sound, sound in faith, in love and endurance.

It's in the Book of Titus. You know all these characteristics that we talk about, temperate worthy, respect, self-control, sound in faith, all those characteristics relate to being integral, relate to being a man of integrity. A man who is honest and trustworthy, a man of honor. And so that leads me to the next items in my toolbox.

It's a little bit like play school, isn't it? Here we go. We've got a tape measure. I love that. I love that sound. Yes. Tape measure and a level. Okay. You need these items to get things right. You need these items to get things right. If you try to build a house without these two things, it won't work properly.

The house, the whole house won't work properly. Nothing would fit, nothing would fit in. The doors wouldn't open, the windows wouldn't close properly. The walls would be all crooked. You need these things to make it straight and true, and to make it work. And just like the tape measure and the level in the natural, we need these in the spiritual as well.

You need these to do things right, to make things right and true. So when we look at those characteristics, talking about integrity and being a man of honor, it says you need to be temperate. So we use this word when referring to a person's behavior. Or attitude. Being temperate means being moderate. Be self controlled.

Anger is a big one in there, so easily we can fly off the handle, but you gotta be self controlled and not do that. That links back to being respected. If you're someone who doesn't do that, you get respected the way you treat others. And then be sound. Be sound in faith, in love and endurance. Someone who is rock solid is someone who is sound.

Someone who is sound is rock solid in who they are and why they exist and what their plan and their purposes are here to do. They're determined to finish what Jesus has planned for them, what Jesus has given them, and that sort of man is one that you can look up to. One that you can try to be like.

So Paul, he covers every base there. He talks, he's talk, he's writing those letters to Timothy and he's talking about the man and the things that need to be straightened up and things that need to be made stronger and corrected. And he speaks to the older men, but he also speaks to the younger men.

The young guys in the church. If we go back to the book of Timothy in the book, chapter, first Timothy chapter four, this is a, this is a well-known scripture throughout youth ministry. We use this a lot, and it says, don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and impurity.

Don't let people look down on you because you're young. Who here is young this morning? Oh, yeah. Everyone. Yeah. That's set and exist. Okay. Right. You're gotta be young. You gotta set the example then. All right. You gotta set the example for the believers in, in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.

That's a tall order. That is a tall order for a young guy, especially in today's world. That is a tall order. So that's why as dads and fathers and father figures and spiritual dads, we've gotta get alongside our young men. And we've gotta, we've gotta encourage them. We've gotta lift them up and carry them at times.

'cause that's a tall order for them to, to, to fill. And for the young men, the young guys here, I believe you can do it. You can do anything. 'cause you got God with you. You got God. Who's got your back? So I've got a tool for this one.

It's a hammer. Yeah. 'cause sometimes you just gotta knock some sense into the No, that's that's not, that's not what, that's what I could, I could interview parents of teenage boys. What do you think the hammer should be used for? No, it's a hammer. The hammer represents, here we go. It represents consistency, persistence, and not giving up.

Consistency, persistence, and not giving up. Have you ever tried to hammer a nail into a piece of wood or you've seen someone else do it? Go. You drive past a building site and you see the guys banging away on the, on the timber frame. Never, ever do you get a big nail and send it home with one hit. It doesn't happen.

You can't just send the nail home with one hit. It's a series of hits, isn't it? Yeah. Bang, bang, bang, bang, finish, bang, bang, bang, bang, finish. It's all about consistency, not giving up.

You know, the, the hammer represents that it represents not giving up, and it also represents that sometimes we make mistakes, don't we? Sometimes we can make a mistake. You can hit a nail and it bends off to the side and bends in half, and so you gotta get the other end of the hammer, the claw, and you gotta claw that nail out and you throw it away.

You get a new one and you start again. Bang, bang, bang, bang, finish. It's all about consistency and persistence.

You know, when we look at these characteristics that Paul encourages, the young men, we can see that they're at a stage in their life. They're like at the start, and so that they set things right. At this point, it sets them up for victory in the end. And I'd say that to you young guys. You get things right now, it sets you up for victory.

In the end, you can save yourself a whole lot of hurt and a whole lot of time. So we look at these characteristics, speech. Let your words always be gracious. Speech, the way you speak, the way you speak to others. Be encouraging. Be uplifting. You know, people wanna be around someone who makes them feel good about themselves, don't they?

So if you wanna have friends, then be friendly. It's not rocket science. Be encouraging. Be someone that others want to hang out with. How about conduct? Be a credible witness for Christ, the way you carry yourselves, young men, the way you carry yourself. The way you act, the way you react to things that happen.

'cause not everything goes your way. Things go bad, things go wrong. And how you react to that is gonna really show who you are. Love, you know, love others, love others. The way Jesus has loved you. Unconditionally. Unconditionally. You don't love to get something back. You don't love to have something returned.

You love unconditionally. Set an example for the believers in faith. Believe in God, believe in God, an all powerful God who has got a plan for your life. He's got your back. He's got everything laid out for you. Believe in him. Put your faith in God. Don't put your faith in this world. Don't put your faith in technology or TV or movies or internet or the tic-tacs or whatever those things are, don't put your faith in that.

Come on, come on.

Put your faith in God. Put your feet firmly on the ground with God. And then lastly, this is a big one as well, especially in today's culture, is purity. Set the example in purity. Go counterculture. With what the world says is the thing to do and the right stuff, be pure, be sexually pure, young guys. Be sexually pure.

Save yourself to your wedding night. If you do that, I guarantee, I guarantee you, it will be awesome. It is awesome. My wife's not here this morning, so I can actually say anything I like,

but I'm not going to because I'm pure. That's right. A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell. Just trust me. It's awesome. All right,

set the example. All right, so let's bring it home. Another divine mentor that God's given us down through history. His name was John. Okay? And he wraps it up in a nutshell. He says, I'm writing to you fathers because you know him, who is from the beginning. I'm writing to you, young men because you have overcome the evil one.

That's awesome. I write to you dear children, because you know the father. I write to you fathers because you know him, who is from the beginning. I write to you, young men, because you are strong. Everyone say strong, strong, strong. You are strong and the word of God lives in you and you have overcome the evil one.

The bottom line is we are strong when the word of God lives in us. When the word of God is in us. So I've got one last item in my toolbox.

It's the instruction manual. It's the instructions. This is the Bible. The divine mentors have left us messages and notes in here that we can follow and read. It's the word of God. This is an instruction manual for life. Now guys,

traditionally we are not good with instructions. There's this ladies, there's no elbows. I don't wanna see any of this. We're pointing of fingers. There's none of that. I'm just saying traditionally we're not good with instructions. Tom,

I bought myself a brand new barbecue. Five burner. Ooh. And I put it together myself three times.

Took me all day. That stupid thing. I had to keep taking it apart and starting again. 'cause I'd missed a piece that went into a thing that had to connect another thing. And I wasted a whole day of my life on that thing because, I didn't read the instructions even. We were unpacking it. We're unpacking it.

And Katie, my wife, she goes, oh look, here's the instruction manual. Don't lose that. And I was like, nah, I've put hundreds of these things together. Lie I don't need those. Oh man, if only, if only I'd followed the instructions, I would've got back a whole day of my life that I'll never see again. Guys, follow the instructions.

Please just follow the instructions. That's why we encourage to do soap devotion. We encourage to do soap devotion, maybe get alongside two or three others and do your devotions together. Learn to hear from God for yourself. You don't need to wait for a Sunday message. We don't need to listen to a podcast even.

Open this thing and read and find out for yourself. Feed yourself with this. And there's so much, there's so much other literature that we can use as men that we can use together as men. The AM 33 course, the men, the men's course, the men's group, the men's that get men that get together. We can spend time together as men and we can glean off each other.

But the most important is the instruction manual. God has given us the instructions. This will help you be a stronger man. This will help you be a more useful man. All the women are nodding yes. Preach it.

It it, it'll help you just be a better man. A better man. So it's time to man up guys. Father's Day. Whether you're a single married, young old, whether you're a natural dad or a spiritual dad, it's time to man up. We put on our high vis and we'd be the spiritual leader. Be the spiritual leader of whatever circumstance you find yourself.

You grab your tape measure. And you level, whoops. Take a tape measure and you level and you be a man of integrity. Be a man of honour, someone that people can look up to, and you grab your hammer and you be consistent and be persistent. Don't give up. Don't give up. Even if you make a mistake, it's not the end.

You own it. Own that mistake. Yeah, no bigger man will do that. You can't be a bigger man than if you own your mistake. You ask for forgiveness and you make it right, and then you start again and move on. And then most important instruction manual. God's got your back. He's shown us what we need to do. He's shown us the way.

So I'm talking to the men here this morning. And the ladies. The ladies, this is all, it's all intertwined. It's all together. But men, whether you're young or old, whether you're married or single, whether you're a natural dad or a spiritual dad, or just a father figure,

we have to choose today to enter, to enter into manhood. I am gonna ask us to do something if, if that is something that you would like to do, if you're gonna choose today to enter into manhood and to say, you know what? Some of these things I'm doing okay, but there's some that, you know, I've, I've dropped the ball.

I need to get better at it. But I'm gonna ask you to do something bold. I'm gonna ask you to do something very manly. And I'm gonna ask you to stand and we'll pray together. So if that's something you wanna do this morning, men, I'm gonna ask you to stand with me. Right now. I'm, I'm standing. I'm the first one standing.

I'm preaching to myself today. We stand and we say, God, thank you for these divine mentors. Thank you for this direction and this guidance.

And say, today, this Father's Day is my day.

It's my day that I'm gonna clean house. If I need to, I'm gonna fix some things, or I'm gonna. Continue doing things that I've been doing, that are doing well, that are, that are creating strength and building my family.

But there's always room for improvement, I believe, always. So that's what we're doing. We're standing to say, you know what? I wanna improve. I want to get better and better.